Sluiter Nation

We Are No Longer Here

2010-10-29T16:01:00.003-04:00

Sluiter Nation is no longer on blogspot!

Come join Sluiter Nation in our new home.

Just a Small Town Girl...

2010-10-10T00:31:00.000-04:00

Well I was born in a small town

And I live in a small town

Prob'ly die in a small town

Oh those small communities...

Tonight my wee little family packed up the stroller and drove out to downtown Zeeland around 6:00pm.

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This was supposed to be a BIG weekend! I was going to call friends. We were going to go out! I was going to advertise and raise some money for the American Stroke Association! This was going to be BIG!

This was my weekend to have Pursey Gallore, the purse from Project: Purse and Boots, the blogger movement created by Lori to raise money and awareness for Stroke Prevention.

And then life happened. I didn't have time to call anyone or set anything up. In fact, unless it's all planned out ahead of time, where I live? Isn't really the kind of place you can just quick dress up fancy and go raise some money.

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As we wandered down the quiet streets of downtown, through the crispy orange leaves, I recognized the smell of fall. But not just any smell of fall...the way fall smelled when I was much, much younger.

And I suddenly felt like I was visiting my childhood. We were giving Pursey Galore a tour of what our lives have been like being from and living in a small town.

First we wandered down Church Street. This was one of the very first streets ever in Zeeland. We passed three churches in the one city block that we walked.

One was the church that our high school held our senior baccalaureate services in.

The next was Second Reformed Church. The place where Cortney went to church as a kid and where we were married and where Cort's dad's funeral service was and were Eddie was baptized.

This is the church we are currently members of. I like this church. I like it's small feel. I like the personalized feeling. Right now though? I am just not sure it is "our" church. But we do love it.

Then we wandered diagonally across the street to First Reformed Church where I was baptized and went to church as a kid.

First Reformed was also the very first building in Zeeland. The church? It is old. And it's really quite beautiful. I really should do a whole post dedicated to certain memories I have of growing up in this church. Most of them are quite lovely. And I have been searching for that for my family for the past 5+ years.

Being on the corner of Church and Central reminded me of walking to piano lessons after school, parking on the road for church in the morning, and marching to the cemetery with the band on Memorial Day morning.

We wandered back up Central and took a turn down Main Street.

We wanted Pursey to "Feel the Zeel", so we took her window shopping in our small town. After realizing that clearly every. single. store was closed by 6pm on a Saturday, I started wishing we had done this in the morning--when people would have been around for me to share Pursey with. But instead, I just shared our town with Pursey.

We brought Pursey to Frank's (which was closed). Frank's has the best burgers in town. Two of my aunt's worked there when they were in high school. My dad and his friend (my uncle) hung out there. It was the place to be. Now the major figure-heads (business owners, old names, etc) of our community gather there each day. There is a LARGE round table in the middle toward the back. Everyone in town knows only those guys sit at the round table. Cort's grandpa Stan Sluiter sits at the round table.

The only way to follow up Frank's is to then stop in front of Zeeland Bakery. They have the best donuts in town. In high school, we used to con teachers into letting us make "donut runs". Somehow I usually found myself one of the students that was involved in said "conning" and we would run to one of our cars (which was dumb because we were usually parked as far away as it would have taken to just walk to the bakery), and we would drive faster than the 15 mph speed limit and get a bunch of fresh donuts for our class. ah...Zeeland Bakery. Yum.

Across the street we passed Bunte's, the local pharmacy. When I was little we used to stop here with my mom after getting groceries to pick up prescriptions or to buy cards for people at church or who were having a birthday or anniversary. My mom loves to send cards. This was also where we got our film developed. He he...film.

Together we discovered new stores that I didn't know existed. Eddie and I made a deal that we would come back to this cute toy store when it was open. Cortney and I reminisced about all the stores that used to be here when we were kids. We talked about how there used to be awnings lining either side of the street. and how the street itself? Used to have a zig and a zag in it.

Then we discussed how our parents used to do this same thing. Talk about which stores used to be there. Talk about when there weren't awnings. And when the street? didn't have a zig or a zag, but kids would drag race down it.

The Howard Miller clock feels the Zeel.


Yes, another church. Pursey lost count after four.

Pursey tried to stop for some salon and spa treatments at Milt's. I tried to explain to her that not only was Milt's not open, but it was just a Barber Shop. Just dudes getting haircuts. Pursey was incredulous. She is apparently too glamorous for a barber shop.

But when she learned there had been a REAL queen right here in Zeeland? She warmed back up to our small town...and needed her picture taken with the royal landmark.

Before getting back into the truck, we stopped to look at the bikes in the Zeeland Schwinn Shop. The owner is my parents' neighbor.

Our last stop was for dinner at J's Again. It's the kind of restaurant that has the gumball machine and a tackboard full of announcements in it's entry-way. There is a counter where you pay a handwritten check and you can buy a york peppermint patty after dinner as a treat. It's the kind of place where you seat yourself. It's the kind of place the old folks (which are 98% of the clientele) comment on how cute and well-behaved your curly-haired little boy is. There is no alcohol on the menu. There is a picture of the last supper on the wall.

Eddie and I had the grilled cheese. Cort had a burger. Pursey? She was too cool to eat.

As we climbed in the truck I thought of how sad I was that I didn't get to share the story of Pursey with anyone. I didn't earn even one donation for such an important cause.

But what I did get to do?

Pursey came to school with us to fix my computer

Pursey watched the U of M/MSU game with us

Pursey helped me create a fall wreath instead of spending too much on a pre-made one

Pursey helped me to spend time with my family today--something I have been earning to do for WEEKS. We all spent the WHOLE day together as a family just being together as a family.

Today I went back in my mind to my childhood, but I also spent a whole day in the now, with my little family.

Cort and I talked about how great it was to go to family-owned businesses. The guy who fixes our cars? Went to HS with my dad. And his son? Went to HS with Cortney. That is where we live. Where the guy whose name is out front is also the guy who is behind the counter helping you pick out your tulip bulbs or your grass seed.

We strolled and chatting and pointed out differences and memories. We laughed and smiled. We showed Eddie our kidhood.

And it was all thanks to Pursey.

No I cannot forget from where it is that I come from

I cannot forget the people who love me

Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town

And people let me be just what I want to be

Please consider going to Project: Purse and Boots and making a donation--however small or large--to the American Stroke Association (the donation button is on the right side of the page in the sidebar). And then forgive me for not throwing a bigger bash.

*Lyrics from Small Town by John Mellencamp

What Happens When I Poll the Audience....

2010-10-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

Today I didn't know if I should tell you about all the poop that is flying around our house lately or do my flip-offs.

So i polled the audience. And by audience, I mean twitter. Because there is instant gratification in polling twitter.

Anyway.

You all voted and you wanted.....

That's right...it's been a couple weeks, but the flip-offs are back by popular demand. The topic of poop? It is still coming...just maybe another day.

Ok...so here we go... (cracks knuckles)...

First I am TOTALLY flipping off the moron in the red buick something or other in my neighborhood that I get stuck behind in the morning if leave the house at just the "right" (re: WRONG) time in the morning.

Let me explain. We live in one of those windy subdivisions that doesn't have any stop signs (because there is SO not enough traffic to justify stop signs) until you get to the only entrance/exit which is on a main road.

Red Buick? He feels the need to make a COMPLETE stop at each and every intersection. He then proceeds to go no faster than 15 mph throughout entire said windy subdivision.

Now I get that it's important to be cautious. You don't want to hit any kids walking to the bus stop.

But at 6:30am? There are no kids walking to the bus stop yet. I know this because on days when I am running late? Like 7:00am late? THAT is when the kids are walking to the bus stop.

So on these days when I think I am being all on time and early (re: OUT OF CHARACTER FOR ME), Red Buick ruins it for me.

FLIP OFF to you, Red Buick (in fact, I DID flip him/her off this morning...but he/she was too focused on not going over 15, that I don't think he/she noticed. So it didn't count. So I had to do it here. So there.)

Ok secondly? I need to flip off one of our banks.

I am not going to say WHICH bank this is because we do get good service here and the tellers are stellar (you love it. don't pretend you don't).

But this bank? Has called our house eight times since last Friday. Our home phone is on the fritz (a WHOLE other flip off), and so we let it go to voicemail and then call our callers back with our cells.

Bur the bank? Is not leaving messages.

Eight times. EIGHT MOTHER LOVING TIMES.

three of those times were in ONE DAY.

So finally Cort called the number that came up on our caller id (after the fifth time they hung up, mind you). and apparently this is their marketing department trying to let us know about a good mortgage rate.

Wait. What?

We JUST refinanced last year at this time. What the ham sandwich, batman?

So Cort tells them, "um, you need to put us on the do not call list."

And the lady is all "well, you have to call customer service to request that, and it can take up to 30 days."

sigh.

So after this conversation? Three more times they call. Three.

For a total of EIGHT TIMES.

Bank? FLIP OFF!

And finally...

I need to go ahead and flip off the cat and his choice of pooping locations. There will be more of this shared in the upcoming and much anticipated "Poop Post", but let's just say my old ass cat is getting all sorts of mean-spirited and poop crazy. and bad, awful things have happened because of this.

So I flip off the cat poop...and the toothbrush that was thrown out because of it.

Oh...and I know I said "finally" above, but I need to add this...

PPD has a PERMANENT flip-off here in Sluiter Nation, you all know that. But what you don't know is that I am all guest posty over at Rocky Mountain Mama's today for her PPD Awareness Week. I'm talking about the differences between Baby Blues (which are normal) and PPD. So go check me out and leave me a comment over there so I don't feel all lonely. I hate feeling lonely. Especially on a Friday.

So click this picture and read the post.

and then read the rest of the posts. They are pretty amazing.

Oh, and for more flip-offs? You can visit...um...I don't even know. Kludgy Mom is the brainchild of the Flip-offs, so go say hi to her. She has been occupied as of late, so Momma Kiss had the link up. So just go to both. They are awesome. Trust me.

Back to School Bonanza #10: The Rocky Mountain Mama

2010-10-07T06:00:00.003-04:00

Today is it. The final installment of my Back to School Bonanza Guest Post Series. Today's post is brought to you by the Rocky Mountain Mama.

I love this post so much. It is the perfect way to end my series.

She taught in Title I schools. I teach in a Title I school. Many of you know that my school is amazing, but does not have near the funding they need for the students we have. We have classes that are too big, not enough supplies, not enough resources all due to being "at risk"--which means no money for us.

Don't get me going on how warped that is in this country. Punish the needy districts by taking away funding. Grrr.

Anyway, this post touches my heart.

I believe in Public Schools.

I believe in kids who are considered "at risk".

I devote a HUGE chunk of my life to both.

And so did the Rocky Mountain Mama.

I hope you enjoy this last post in my guest series. Please visit her blog (she is doing PPD awareness week right now that is AWESOME...and I am there!). Oh, and of course show her some love.

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Hello! I am the author of Rocky Mountain Mama. I am so glad to be joining Sluiter Nation’s Back to School Bonanza! I am blogging as an educator and I will be discussing my school experience, some of my teaching experiences and how they may or may not relate to each other.

I attended parochial school from kindergarten through high school. I really did enjoy my school experience. I had many great teachers and I liked the small environment of a parochial school. My K-8 school had 2 classes in each grade with each class only having about 20 kids in it. There were about 10 of us who started school together in kindergarten and graduated from high school together. Attending parochial school definitely kept me sheltered, but I was definitely prepared for my future. I understood the meaning of hard work. From an early age (1^st grade) I had hours of homework. Yes, you read that correctly…hourS.

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I didn’t always know I wanted to be a teacher, but I did always enjoy working with younger children. After I graduated college with a useless degree in English, I decided to go back to school to get my license in Elementary Education. While participating in all my practicums and student teaching I thought I wanted to teach at a charter school – it being very similar to my own background. The thought of a “regular” public school frightened me…and don’t even get me started on Title I schools. Scary! I was so used to the sheltered feeling of a parochial school that working with kids with disabilities or hard backgrounds freaked me out.

I did my student teaching in the fall and subbed from January through November of the following year. Subbing was hard. I went from school to school and was scared nearly out of teaching when I found a student who attempted throwing tables at a Title I school. Then one day, midyear, a friend called and told me about an opening at her school – a Title I school. I really wasn’t sure, but I decided to interview. It wouldn’t hurt, right?!

I got the job as a full day kindergarten teacher to many English language learners who came from hard, unstable backgrounds. I loved it. Hands down, loved it. These kids were great and the families were so caring and just wanted the best for their children. The following year I switched districts and found myself at yet another inner-city Title I school, but this one was different. This one was rough – in the heart of the inner-city. These kids had rough lives. Some were homeless. Many had parents in jail. And many didn’t have enough to eat or shared a room with more than one sibling. This school had 97% free and reduced lunch – that should give you an idea of the area.

This job was tough. Oh my gosh, it was tough! I cried daily for almost two weeks when I first started. I had a student who peed on the floor, wrote curse words all over the room, threw things and a handful of students who refused to work. Think Dangerous Minds with 2^nd graders. And parent support?! Forget it! But once I established relationships and gained control I fell in love with every.single.student. Even the one who peed on the floor and called me the F word on many occasions. They challenged me daily. They pushed my limits, but I learned SO much from these kids. I valued every moment at that school in spite of the tremendous amounts of stress.

There were many days I left crying…not because of stress of the job, but because of the situations many of these children lived in. I had high expectations of these kids (just like when I was younger) but how do you maintain high expectations when some of these kids don’t have a place to sleep or don’t have enough to eat?! The answer…you give them a loving, caring and structured environment. That is what they crave….what they need. I still think about those kids and wonder how they are doing now. I still worry for them.

When I was pregnant with Christopher I decided to change districts to be closer to home. I am now teaching in one of the top districts in Denver in one of the top elementary school as a kindergarten interventionist. I do love it…I really do, but part of me misses the struggles of Title I.

So how does this all tie together – my parochial schooling with my teaching experience at a Title I school? Attending a parochial school kept me very sheltered. My parents made a good choice as the public school system where I grew up was not the best, but I am now a firm believer in the public school system. Yes, it has its “issues” but everything does. I digress… Growing up I kind of had a negative warped perception of public schools ingrained into me.

I always thought public schools = bad education. Quite the contrary. There are many, MANY public schools who are providing an amazing education for today’s youth. My current school is a good example. My previous school may not be the best example if you pull their test scores, but I can tell you the teachers there are working their butts off to provide a well rounded education and more importantly, a safe place for those kids.

I couldn’t pull from my life experiences to understand and empathize with my students at the Title I school, but I do understand the value of education. No matter what setting I am in, I have always strived to provide my students with the best education while maintaining a caring learning environment. While my schooling experience was completely different from many of my teaching experiences, I have valued both.

Where Does He Get that HAIR?!?

2010-10-05T21:55:00.000-04:00

This blog has been a wee bit on the serious side lately--I realize that. Even when I am talking about positive things, it's with a bit of a serious tone.

So we need some lightening up around here, yes?

Yes, I thought so too.

So I thought I would tackle a reader (and pretty much anyone we meet) question....

Where does Eddie get that HAIR?!?!

Almost every single person who sees Eddie asks me this question. And since putting that new family picture up there at the top of the blog (THANK YOU, Missy! Muah!), more and more people have been commenting on his curly blond locks compared to our dark tresses. So I am here today to set the record straight!

First? I can tell you were he DIDN'T get the hair....

I have clearly...CLEARLY...always had super straight hair (and an outstanding fashion sense). however, it was blonder than it is now. Well, now it's darker due to umm...a little help. But my TRUE hair color is brown. But as a kid, it was MUCH lighter.

Now...take a peek at this guy...

Oh hello blond curls!! Yes, that's right, at one time Cortney had blond, soft curls. And chubby little arms and legs...just like someone else I know...


Admittedly Eddie's hair is not that curly here....I had just plastered it with sunscreen

Ahem.

So now we know where the hair came from. But how about we take a minute to look at it's future, shall we?

If Eddie's hair truly is his father's hair, here is what he can look forward to....

The curls? They keep growing. They are really not this red...it's just good old early 80's photography! Maybe I will get Eddie's hair cut before this happens...but maybe not.

They start to get a little tighter as the boy grows. And a wee a little browner. And that little green jacket? Shut up! Eddie is SURE to have style!

Even tighter curls. Even browner curls. Even cooler jacket. The boy knows outerwear, people. He so does.

Tight curls and baby chicks? What is that? Bunnies? And I love the carefully posed hands on the open book. Super chic.

I purposefully skipped the early adolescent years. No one needs that. And Cortney? Would not be pleased if I posted that. So here is high schoolish age. Those curls? Super tight. Totally brown. The transformation is almost complete....almost.

In college? He went ahead and did this....

Yes, that is his actual hair. My man? Can grow a MEAN afro! He is one studly white man with a fro!

Cortney apologizes to Eddie daily for the hair. He says there are two haircuts: short and long. And if long goes bad? It's a fro-lett.

yes that is an afro mullet. don't mock. Cort MAY have had one that matched his dad's....

Maybe the fro is in Eddie's future? If it is? He will DEFINITELY impress his friends. He will be the hit of the sports team he is on (if he is on one. his choice. totally.)

Hopefully he will learn to embrace the curls like his dad has. Hopefully he will love what he has in common with the man who loves him most in this world.

So yes, Eddie gets his cute little 'do from his daddy. And I think he also gets his heart-melting smile from him. And his kind nature. And his....

oh wait.

This was about hair.

ahem.

So to answer your question: Cortney. He gets his hair from Cortney.

Back To School Bonanza Guest Post #9: Sign Language

2010-10-05T06:00:00.000-04:00

As an educator, I am always trying to do the best thing with Eddie as far as communication and language. We make books available to him for exploring, we read books to him, we talk to him constantly about what we are doing, and we name EVERYTHING.

One thing we haven't done a ton of is sign language.

Recently I was contacted by Emily Patterson about guest posting here on the topic of Sign Language at an early age. I thought it was a wonderful idea. I know a LOT of you already do this with your children, and I am so excited to learn that it is NOT too late for us to start!

Here is a little about Emily and what she does...

For over 25 years, Primrose Schools has helped individuals achieve higher levels of success by providing them with an AdvancED® accredited, early childhood, education. Through an accelerated Balanced Learning® curriculum, Primrose Schools students are exposed to a widely diverse range of subject matter giving them a much greater opportunity to develop mentally, physically and socially. Emily Patterson is currently working as a communications coordinator for Primrose Schools providing written work to the blogosphere which highlights the importance, and some of the specific aspects, of a quality, early childhood, education.

Here is what she has to say...

Early Childhood Education – Acquiring Sign Language

One of the keys to surviving in a tilted economic system in which opportunities to achieve a decent standard of living will be limited is versatility – and the ability to communicate articulately in a variety of ways with the widest possible audience. This includes bilingual ability as well as the ability to communicate in non-verbal ways for the benefit of the disabled – primarily the deaf.

At the same time, a growing shortage of qualified interpreters fluent in American Sign Language has led to more career opportunities – and if current trends continue, it's likely that skilled ASL interpreters will have little problem securing lucrative employment in a society where such a commodity is destined to be in short supply.

Signing Before They Can Speak

A great deal of research has clearly demonstrated that the early years – ages 2 to five – are the best time to educate children in different modes of communication and language. This goes beyond the spoken word (though it is an optimal time for children to learn a second language); many young children have an aptitude for signing as well.

This is not as odd as you may think. As you know, many indigenous peoples around the world, including American Indian nations, have used sign language for centuries to facilitate communication with other tribes with whom they do not share a language. Some paleontologists and anthropologists theorize that Neanderthals – who apparently lacked the vocal mechanism to produce many spoken words – depended a great deal upon hand gestures to communicate.

In fact, recent research suggests that sign language is innate. An article published in the Boulder Daily Camera in 2003 presented strong evidence that babies as young as six months old communicate with their hands:

"...by 6 to 7 months, babies can remember a sign. At eight months, children

can begin to imitate gestures and sign single words. By 24 months, children

can sign compound words and full sentences. They say sign language reduces

frustration in young children by giving them a means to express themselves

before they know how to talk." (Glarion, 2003)

The author also cites study funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development demonstrating that young children who are taught sign language at an early age actually develop better verbal skills as they get older. The ability to sign has also helped parents in communicating with autistic children; one parent reports that "using sign language allowed her to communicate with her [autistic] son and minimized his frustration...[he now] has an advanced vocabulary and excels in math, spelling and music" (Glarion, 2003).

The Best Time To Start

Not only does early childhood education in signing give pre-verbal youngsters a way to communicate, it can also strengthen the parent-child bond – in addition to giving children a solid foundation for learning a skill that will serve them well in the future. The evidence suggests that the best time to start learning ASL is before a child can even walk – and the implications for facilitating the parent-child relationship are amazing.

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Georgia educational child care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose educational child care schools. Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools.

Just Breathe

2010-10-03T19:58:00.000-04:00

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw-huh...

As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh...

Oh I'm a lucky [woman] to count on both hands

the ones I love...

I work too much.

I worry too much.

I get caught up in the piles and the To Do's.

And because of all this craziness that is suddenly in my life now? I have learned to slow it WAY down when I am with my family.

Some folks just have one,

yeah, others they've got none, uh-huh.

I am awfully lucky for what I've got.

I not only have an army of people near and far who love me and are concerned for me and my family, but I have the most wonderful, joyful little family right here under my own roof.

Stay with me...

let's just breathe....

This week I moved my laptop downstairs to a little "office" that Cort made for me in the laundry room.

I cut out my computer time before work.

I don't look at my computer until after Eddie is in bed.

It's been lovely.

Practiced are my sins,

Never gonna let me win, aw-huh...

Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh...

Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world

to make me believe.

We also got served another punch this week when Cort was passed over for a job he was practically guaranteed.

And so we leaned on each other.

We are finding more quiet moments now that I am so busy.

We are talking more.

We have better discussions.

Stay with me...

you're all I see.

Cortney and Eddie are my rocks.

Cort brings Eddie to school every Wednesday so I will never have a day that I don't see my wee little guy.

Eddie never cares what our job situations are. He just loves to love life.

Did I say that I need you?

Did I say that I want you?

Oh if I didn't I'm a fool, you see...

No one knows this more than me.

As I come clean...

I have been struggling with mom guilt and with wife guilt and with friend guilt and with blogger guilt and with weight guilt.

But my boys? They just are there. They are there when I need them. They listen as I cry. They laugh when life gets crazy.

We make do.

We celebrate the small moments...even if it's just for 30 minutes after school in my classroom. We are together.

And I need that.

And I love that.

I wonder everyday

as I look upon your face, aw-huh...

Everything you gave

And nothing would you take, aw-huh...

Nothing would you take

Everything you gave...

This crazy life has made me realize how lucky I am.

I don't think my boys will ever EVER know how thankful I am for them.

The funny thing is, most of this busyness is FOR THEM.

And they never complain about me being gone. Ever.

The house gets cleaned. The errands get run. The bills get paid.

With me never saying anything.

I am so very lucky.

Did I say that I need you?

Oh, did I say that I want you?

Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see...

No one knows this more than me.

As I come clean, ah-ah...

I can't do anything without Cort and Eddie's support.

My buddy turned 15 months in this whirl of madness. He is babbling, and walking backwards, and doing Ring Around the Rosie's, and climbing on things, and loving books.

His brillance makes me want to be better.

Cortney keeps our house running. He pays the bills. He keeps us comfy. He makes it so Eddie never knows that we are struggling.

He supports my weight loss (I am holding fast at 193, by the way. But it is good. Lots of good choices this week).

He does things that aren't his favorite (like family pictures) to make me happy.

He somehow keeps persevering after each rejection because he is strong.

He keeps this family going.

Nothing you would take...

Everything you gave.

Love you til I die...

meet you on the other side.

Together we hold on. We just breathe.

*lyrics from the song "Breathe" by Pearl Jam

This is also my McFatty Monday post. Hop on over here for more.

There Was Some Running

2010-10-01T22:40:00.000-04:00

Cortney and I ~~ran~~ participated in the Susan G Koman Race for the Cure. Many of you helped us with our fundraising and between he and I? We raised over $700!!! That is amazing!

I wrote about my perspective of race day on Running Between Tweets.

Cortney wrote about it on his blog, Tasty Buttered Toast.

Thank you again for all your support! We hope to do it again next year...but we hope to be even better!

Changes Amongst Traditions

2010-10-01T07:40:00.000-04:00

Lately all of my posts have been about school. I realize that. Part of that is because it's been my Back to School Bonanza (which has only one week left). The other reason for that is because it is something that is consuming my time lately.

One of the major event that takes up a boatload of my time right off the bat with each new school year is homecoming.

Lucky for me, I am not in charge of ALL of homecoming, but I am in charge of the seniors (choosing the 10 on the court and the master and mistress of ceremony as well as getting convertibles and organizing them for the homecoming parade/game, AND doing the final vote for king and queen), getting all court members lined up and ready to go for the parade, and running homecoming halftime.

It means a lot of little details, phone calls, planning.

And this year? This year I signed on to do a surprise staff drumline performance during the homecoming pep assembly.

See? There I am with the base drum! I am all smiley instead of actually concentrating on the cadence we learned.

I did sort of know what I was doing. And it was for sure fun because the kids were surprised and totally amazed that we were out there!

As you can see? The teachers had a wee bit of fun. Good thing we had a few actual drummers from the band to help us out...we may have been playing more than we were actually playing.

Once school was over, it was time to think about the homecoming parade. Instead of going home, I loaded my car with homecoming crowns and scepters and capes and scripts and tape and many other random things we may need and headed over to the park where the parade was lining up.

Even though it had been ~~a million degrees~~ sort of hot all week, by parade time the weather had cooled and I actually put on my hoodie. Even though I complain, I really do love seeing all the school spirit. There is just something about fall weather and excitement for high school sports that makes me smile.

There go my seniors! Bringing up the end of the parade (in the corvettes I landed thanks to the Grand Valley Corvette Club! WOOT to them being AWESOME!). One last thing to do...head to the stadium and get ready for halftime!

Getting into the stadium and to my spot on the track can be tricky. Good thing I have a reserved parking spot right near the entrance.

And of course, just like last year, Cortney and Eddie came out for the first half of the game. This year thought? Instead of just being a small, squishy baby who just laid in his carrier? Eddie wanted to get out and RUN!

This year, like last year, Cort and Eddie left just before halftime since the wee one needed to get to bed. I left as soon as half time was over since I had been at school since 7am and I was whipped.

On my drive home, I thought about how much had changed even though at the same time? It hadn't at all.

I have been senior class adviser for going on 5 years now. This is my first year doing it solo (my co-adviser was moved to a different building). I was proud of myself for pulling it off (although I am equally happy that Marcia showed up and helped me hand out the flowers to the court).

Even though all of the five homecomings followed the exact same traditions? It seems like there is always something slightly different.

Three years ago there was a new principal.

Also three years ago, I got home from the game and found out I was pregnant.

Last year I had a baby.

This year I was alone in the prep work and execution.

During all the hullabaloo of the planning, part of me wanted this to be my last year. It was a lot of hard work.

But at the same time, the relieved feeling when it's over, the excitement on the kids' faces, the fun of seeing how my life changes even though the traditions remain the same...

all those things sort of make it worth it.

If graduation goes this well, I will probably be back for homecoming '11 next year. If not, we'll just be in the stands.

Back to School Bonanza Guest Post #8: Emily

2010-09-30T06:00:00.003-04:00

We made it through September! Today is the LAST day of the month, and I saved Emily to wrap up September for a couple reasons.

For one, Emily and I have actual school experiences together. I have no idea why this goes with wrapping up September, but it just does.

Also, Emily's post just FEELS like a wrap-up. Usually you say thank you when something is coming to a close, so this just felt right.

I know I have mentioned Emily in other places on this blog. I adore her blog. I adore her family. I adore her. She is such a wonderful friend. She is one of those rare people who you know when you share your good news with her she will be JUST as over the moon as you are. She is also someone who I can confide in when stuff is just icky. She is one of the very first people I told about my PPD for instance. And when you tell her? You can feel her prayers. You can feel her concern. It is palpable even though she is hundreds of miles away.

Enjoy her lovely post. Emily rocks it. And as usual, go follow her on twitter and her blog when you are done here!

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Hi All! I’m Emily, I blog over at DesignHER Momma, and I’m excited to pop over here to Katie’s place for the day. To talk about school stuff.

Did you know Katie and I went to high school together? This means I could probably come up with some good dirt on her. Like an embarrassing picture or something. (Which I know I have, but couldn’t find. Oh yes, I looked).

Instead, I feel I need to write a thank you note. You see, my daughter just started school about 2 weeks ago. It’s been a big adjustment sending my firstborn off to school for the first time. An adjustment fill with anxiety and worry, knowing that my young daughter is now going to influenced by others, 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, Year round, for the next 13 years.

A thank you note to my child’s Kindergarten teacher:

Dear Piper’s Teacher,

I just wanted to write you a quick note that Piper is over the moon excited to go to school everyday. This past Tuesday, she got me up at 5:30 in the morning ready to start her day. What does this mean to you? That you’re doing an awesome job! (But might I make a suggestion, to start teaching her to tell time?)

I have a few things that I need to get off my chest, or should I say “heart”. I would never tell you these things in person, because that would be awkward. I might start to cry, then you would have to hug me, and we don’t know each other that well yet. So, this note feels more appropriate. Ok, here it goes:

Teacher, thank you for leaving your child every morning so you can spend time with mine. Thank you for loving on her like I would, and for being there for her when I’m not there. Thank you for investing so much energy into caring for my child, that you barely have any energy left to give your own family at the end of the long day. Thank you so much for taking on this job, even though I know the pay isn’t what it should be.

Dear Teacher, I seriously don’t know what I would do without you. You are shaping my daughter to be a smart, intelligent, strong woman, and that it me, is priceless. You really are amazing, even if I can’t say it to your face.

Much Praise,

Piper’s Mom.

And to you, Katie, my dear teacher friend, I say thank you. I pray that this school year is the best year yet. You have an important to do, good thing you do it well!

Muchas Gracias

2010-09-29T06:00:00.002-04:00

I had a bad week last week. You all know this. I told you about it, because that is what I do, yo.

Then things started to look up a bit. I got a day off to get used to the idea. So I told you about it.

I accepted what I figured would be crappy for awhile, but would then end. And I accepted it with a heavy sigh.

You all were wonderful. No. You were MORE than wonderful. You all spewed words of encouragement and grace all over me. And I felt your love.

But then? Then something BIG happened.

Thursday morning, while I was teaching my first hour class, I got a package in the main office. My principal called my room to ask me if I knew the person. It was from Jennifer, a wonderful, beautiful, might-just-be-my-twin reader who lives in the area,but whom I have never met in person.

During third hour, I went down to the office, and found a HUGE bag full of art and school supplies that I had listed on my Teacher Wish List. I sat down in the chair in the principal's office and wept.

Huge tears of gratefulness and joy streamed down my face as I tried to explain to the office staff that it was from someone who reads my blog who I didn't know, but that I totally knew. I know I sounded completely weird. But I also didn't care.

And then I brought the treasures back to my classroom.

My students couldn't believe that someone who didn't know us would do something so kind. One student said, "Why did she buy stuff for us? If she is not from Wyoming?"

I unloaded the goods and we decided we needed to put them to use right away. Jennifer? She needed a thanks!

As I set things out, one boy's eyes got huge and he gasped, "WOW! they are all brand name stuff! My MOM doesn't even buy Crayola!"

Another girl said, "And Elmer's glue! And Fiskers scissors...I don't know if that is a good brand, but look, they were more than a dollar!"

Everyone dived right in to the supplies! And they took such good care of them! Way better than the stuff they know I bought!

They all had fun writing Muchas Gracias cards to Jennifer. And? They may have just had fun doing arts and crafts, because it meant chatty time with the friends.

My students and I are beyond grateful for such a gift! I even handed out one of the Kleenex packs that was in there to a student with a cold.

I honestly don't know how to say thank you for such a wonderful gift. I wish there was more I could do...but for now? I will just say....

MUCHAS GRACIAS!

Back To School Bonanza Guest Post #7: Miranda

2010-09-28T06:00:00.002-04:00

Today is a SUPER special guest post!

I realize I say this about ALL of my guest posts, but today? Today you get to read a little something by Miranda of Not Super...Just Mom. Y'all? (as she would say)...She is like my twin. In fact, we call each other "etwin". She is a fellow snark-a-licious English teacher. She is a momma of a wee little man with curly blond hair. She is a fellow PPD survivor. And she is battling the same weight issues I am! If we weren't a zillion states apart? We would be besties in a heartbeat.

She was one of the FIRST people I had on my list to ask to do this since she is just like I am as a teacher. She LOVES her students, is passionate about her calling, and tells it like it is. Oh, and? She takes no shiz from anyone.

Puh-LEASE go read this post about how she deals with shananagins in her class. Girl after my own heart, I tell ya! And then follow her on twitter. And then come back and read what she has to say here....

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When Katie asked me to write for her Back to School Bonanza, I was all “WOOHOO! YES!” and then I forgot that I was all “WOOHOO! YES!” until I saw a tweet from her that said something along the lines of “I’m so excited for my Back to School Guest Bloggers” and then I sheepishly asked if I was supposed to write something for her.

Let’s just go ahead and lay it all out there. I’m probably the most disorganized person you’ve ever met in your life. “Organized chaos” has given way to just straight “chaos.” I live by shuffling piles around from spot to spot. It makes me appear productive without actually getting anything done. Unfortunately, after having a child, it appears my brain has started doing the same thing with important information—it all just gets shuffled around. And then my brain can’t find it anymore. So, thanks, Katie, for having me even though I forgot.

Where were we? Oh yeah…Back to School.

Once I remembered I was supposed to write this post, I started and stopped about 15 times. I mean, Katie is awesome, so I can’t let her down.

I thought, and thought, and thought, and thought, and then one day it hit me while I was shampooing my hair.

Allow me to tell you a story—no, not about me in the shower—about my first day of high school.

I cried. Promise.

Real, crocodile tears.

I was terrified that high school was going to be more of the same from middle school—me being called “Mooooranda” and kids making farm noises at me as I walked down the halls. Me, being opinionated despite the bullying, saying what was on my mind because that was the one thing I knew how to do.

(The mooing stopped, I’m happy to report. Probably because I’d gotten boobs so the boys were too busy looking at those to remember my name.)

I vividly remember walking into Spanish class on the first day of school. Vividly. There were piñatas and sombreros and pictures and foreign words hanging up in our tiny, cramped little room where two of the walls were breakaway partitions. I remember looking around and knowing only two people in that class. I remember the teacher, Senora, walking in shortly after the bell rang and speaking no English.

I remember freaking out because I could not understand a word she was saying and I was a straight A student and I had to make an A or my life would be over and I would never get into college and I had to go to college because it would be a really really big deal and I could not understand her and OH MY GOD I MUST MAKE AN A.

And then she walked to the front of the room and took a seat on her stool and she smiled back at us and we stared at her with the shocked look that only first-timers in a foreign language class can have.

I don’t remember much of the rest of what she said. I’m sure it was the usual pleasantries that I share with my own students now that I’m a teacher. The “Hello, my name is…” and the “Here’s what we’ll do in this class…”.

But one thing she said that day has always stuck with me, has become an integral part of my own teaching.

“If you walk out of this classroom at the end of the year and you can’t speak a word of Spanish, I hope I’ve taught you life lessons.”

Wow, right?

In a day and time when we’re stuck on the numbers, the tests, that apparently prove our worth as educators, students, an entire system, her approach seems a novel one to me.

TEACH LIFE LESSONS.

The lessons I learned in her class were tolerance for others, patience with others, and the real words to the song “La Bamba.”

(Yes, I’m serious. It’s about a man who is not a marine/sailor but will be one if that’s what his woman wants.)

She taught me how to be a teacher and a friend to my students. Her example helped me be a trusted adult for my students when they need someone to talk to. When they don’t have anywhere else to turn.

If students leave my class at the end of a year and they cannot tell me the difference between a simile and a metaphor but they know that they are capable of success and greatness, I’ve done my job. If they understand that it’s possible for people to coexist in this world and not agree on everything, if their eyes are opened to the plight of others less fortunate than themselves, if they see that someone out there DOES care about them, I’m good.

I can’t ask for more than that.

And just so you know, I totally got an A.

McFatty Monday...some progress

2010-09-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

Once again I am here to share my results of the past week in my quest to be ~~less of a tub~~ more healthy.

This week is full of good news!

First of all, I weighed in at 193 this week! That is 5.5 pounds less than last week.

Now, before you start congratulating me, I must say I think this is due to a few things.

For one, I failed to mention in last week's McFatty post that some of my extra weight last time was ~~maybe~~ most definitely due to that womanly thing that happens every month. I was ALL sorts of bloated.

So this week, I noticed my pants fasten a little easier. In fact Friday night at the homecoming game, I found myself constantly pulling up my capri pants so that i wouldn't moon the whole dang home side.

I also lowered my calorie intake. You all totally confirmed my suspicions that 2100/day is just too much. I am now at a goal of 1700/day. It's a LOT harder to stay in that limit, I am finding! In fact, I went over twice this week. Oops.

Also this week Saturday I did the Susan G Koman Race for the Cure 5k. I'll blog more about that later, but that was 3.2 miles of walking/running that allowed me to have two bites of Eddie's cupcake at a birthday party later that night...and STILL stay under my caloric goal for the day! WOOT!

I must pause here and thank Kristin for all her help with making over my breakfasts. Eggs, wheat toast, and yogurt with granola have been keeping me happy until lunch for sure! This week I am making over my lunches. Trying to add some more healthy proteins to get me through the rest of the day. And as always? I am doing my best to drink more water and less, well, less of everything else.

(Although this has been a BAD week for sweet, delicious coffee drinks. They are my rewards for things, people, and I cannot quit them).

I'll keep you all updated if I find anything particularly wonderful for lunch. I am sure I will. Kristin posted some yummy ideas, and I am excited!

And of course I must give the lovely Blair big ups for creating this lovely way of keeping myself in check! Go check out her McFatty update. And of course the rest of them here along with the button so that you too can join in on McFatty Mondays if you so desire!.

Buh Bye PPD

2010-09-26T18:53:00.000-04:00

Today is my friend Lauren's birthday.

She is one of the most beautiful women I know. She is also a fierce advocate for postpartum disorders. When I first told my story on the blog, and tweeted about it, she found me. She invited me to #ppdchat on Mondays. She helped me to understand what I had.

So many others were there too. Because I opened up, I found Amber and Miranda and Katherine and Grace and Blair and Kimberly and Alexis and so, so many more.

And today? Today is Lauren's birthday. She has done so much for PPD awareness and even on her birthday she wants to keep advocating. Today she announced that is the 1st Annual Postpartum Awareness Balloon Release, and asked PPD survivors everyone to release a purple balloon with a note and her blog address attached.

Being a PPD survivor? I joined in.

Today I bought a half dozen purple balloons. Eddie had one with a message and so did I. The others? They were just pur-dee.

After attaching our notes of hope, Eddie and I headed out to the front yard to release our balloons. To let our hope float.

I am not going to lie. It was a bit emotional letting go of that junk that is PPD with my little guy at my side.

And together we waved Buh-Bye to PPD and all the crap that comes with it. Eddie's balloon soared high above the trees and left our field of vision quickly.

Mine? Mine got stuck in the telephone wires. Right next to the house.

Cortney smiled and shook his head and said, "sort of symbolic, isn't it?"

UGG! I told him I just wanted them to soar away while we waved so I could type up a happy, feel-good post about it. But no, my damn balloons got stuck. ON OUR PROPERTY!

Is this a sign? Sheesh, I hope not!

So I decided to play with Eddie for a bit outside. We were happily playing "chase the golf ball" when I looked and noticed that the balloons were still attached to that stupid wire, but had inched their way all the way down to the actual electric pole. And switched wires.

We kept playing.

A few times I would look up and think they were gone, but then notice that they were just hiding behind the pole.

Isn't that just like PPD? You think you have dramatically let it go and it's gone, but it sits there just out of sight sometimes waiting for you. Letting you know it's still there.

Even now, from the house I can see that they are way down the lines...but still there. still hanging on. still dancing in the setting sun.

but they are far enough away now that i forget that they are stuck to the wire every now and then. And that? That is also like PPD. When it's managed and being taken care of? I don't really think about it.

Which means, I think I can officially wave buh-bye to it.

Just like Eddie did.

Back To School Bonanaza Guest Post #6: Nichole

2010-09-23T06:00:00.004-04:00

My guest post today comes from Nichole of In These Small Moments. Nichole and I met via twitter and quickly bonded over trying to do the Couch to 5k program. She asked me to submit a post for her Small Moment Mondays that she does on her blog, and I jumped at the chance! I love Nichole's fierce protectiveness she has for her children and her genuinely kind and lovely soul. She is probably one of the sweetest people I have met in the internet world. She is hilarious too! So you throw all of that together plus the fact that she is a brilliant writer, and you have one of my favorite bloggers and friends! You should definitely visit her blog, and of course follow her on twitter.

Nichole has a 3 year old daughter named Katie (great name!) who attends speech therapy. Here is her heartbreaking take on what letting go of your first born to school means.

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The First Day of School

The first day of school has come far earlier than I ever anticipated it would.

Katie began receiving her weekly speech therapy sessions at the local elementary school today. While she's technically not a student yet, this sure felt like the first day of school.

She still likes to snuggle in my lap.

I was a mess about bringing her and dropping her off. Though she's had speech therapy since she was itty bitty, it has always been in our home, where I could see and hear everything.

Today, I had to walk her to her classroom. And leave.

Her tiny hand still fits almost completely in my palm. She's just a baby.

Since we found out that she would be transitioning to the school, I have been feeling waves of anxiety. Huge waves. Tsunami waves.

What am I afraid of exactly?

She still uses strawberry flavored toothpaste.

Well, this is going to sound crazy, but I haven't been away from my kids much. I can count on four fingers the number of people who have cared for them in our absence. And Katie? She's three and a half.

She still calls me "Mommy."

So, now I was being asked to drop her off at a school and leave her with near strangers.

So, we had the talk. The talk that no one wants to have with their daughter.

We had the Vagina Talk.

Here's how it went:

Me: Katie, are you getting excited about going to the school to spend time with Miss N.?

Katie: Yes, and to play with other kids.

Craig: Mommy and Daddy will be dropping you off and then we'll come back later and pick you up, okay?

Katie: No.

Me: You'll be just fine and we'll be right outside (read: at home).

Katie: Okay.

Me (never so great with the transitions): Katie, who is allowed to touch your vagina?

(This isn't the first time that we've had this conversation with her and every time we do, she looks us like we've completely lost our minds. Since no one has ever asked to see her vagina, she clearly can't figure out why this is such a big deal to us.)

Katie (without even thinking about it): "Mommy, Daddy, Katie, and Dr. D. when Mommy and Daddy are there."

If something ever happened to her, I would die inside.

Craig: And if someone did try to touch you, Katie, what would you say?

Katie: I would say, really, really loud, "NO!"

If someone ever touched her, Craig would die inside.

Me: And what else would you do?

Katie: Tell Mommy and Daddy.

But what if she couldn't stop it? What if she was too small and scared?

I resisted the urge to continue drilling her, for fear of scaring her. I'm not sure how much reassurance that she understands would be enough to put my mind at ease.

So, now marks the beginning of a time we have to trust that we've taught her the things that she needs to know. It just seems like there are still so many lessons she has yet to learn.

Bittersweet....

2010-09-22T14:49:00.002-04:00

Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony, this life

Every choice make brings good and bad it seems. Today I was reminded of the good that my new choices will bring. Power was lost at school and we were sent home.

Home to a quiet house.

Home with my lessons to plan.

Home for a much-needed nap.

Trying to make ends meet

You're a slave to money then you die

All we do is struggle to keep ourselves afloat. Cortney goes through promising interviews. Every damn time we get our hopes up. Every time (so far) he gets the rejection. He is MORE than qualified. He is exactly what they are looking for. But he doesn't have a degree. OR they are afraid once he gets his degree he will leave.

And that leaves us back at square one.

So I worry.

And I take on extra duties and jobs.

And I overextend myself for money.

Until I die.

No change, I can't change

I can't change, I can't change

Cortney begs me not to worry. Not to take on more than I can handle. Other people ask me if I am crazy.

I KNOW I should take care of myself first.

But I can't.

I just can't.

I am selfish in many, may ways. But taking something away from my family that I could provide by just sucking it up for a limited amount of time is something I just can't do.

But I'm here in my mind

I am here in my mind

I do these things I know are not good for me even if they are good for others. But I KNOW it.

I know I want my family to be comfortable even if I'm not.

I know I take on jobs because I want to make people happy.

I know I do things that might not want to do because I feel important if I do them.

I know I take things on just so I won't be forgotten.

I am aware.

But I'm a million different people

from one day to the next...

To follow the old cliche, I wear more hats than my head can possibly handle.

I bite off way more than I can swallow and digest, let alone chew.

I play more roles in one day than I can list on all my fingers and toes.

I know it would be healthier for me to quit doing that.

But how? How do I continue to be a GOOD teacher, mother, wife, etc if I just think about me?

I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me,

yeah

Some days I just need it to be recognized that I struggle. I just need people to see it, understand it's a part of me, and feel it for me for a second.

I am not looking for pity.

I am not whining.

Most days, anyway.

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

I don't know what else to blog about besides that.

This is my life.

This is OUR life.

We have struggles.

We try VERY hard to keep a positive outlook in all things. We try to laugh a lot.

Because if you don't laugh? You lose. You die. You're done.

But sometimes? That is hard.

There needs to be a break in the laughter.

And this is one of those breaks.

Stuff isn't funny to me right now. It's just damn hard.

I wish it didn't have to be, but this is the only road Cort and I know. We started down this hard road when we walked back down the aisle together as man and wife.

Neither of us had known a ton of hardship until then.

We are so very lucky to have each other and this journey. But it's not easy.

Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life

If you are feeling all "help a teacher out", you can visit the teacher wish lists for the teachers in my district. I am on there as well, but all of us need help. We have huge classes and little to zero funds to get the things we need. Anything you can do is much appreciated.

Plus also? All your comments and tweets on my post this morning and about my meltdown? Wonderful. I will get to responding (if your email is connected to your commenting account).

And one more thing? about comments? Soon I will be over at wordpress and responding to what you say to me will be much easier. YAY!

The Ramblings that I Can String Together Right Now

2010-09-22T06:00:00.006-04:00

There is a storm outside.

Why does this seem to happen every time I have a storm in my head? It's like the universe wants to smack me with obvious literary irony. Like I need that.

Ahem. Anyway.

This morning I was just thinking about how much I love my schedule. Remember when I was upset and sad and scared and confused about why I had been given full time Spanish instead of full time English? This morning, I felt peaceful about it. I have four sections of Spanish I and one section of Spanish II. My prep hour is third hour, which is the perfect time for a breather and a mid-morning snack.

Long story short, I ruined it.

I picked up a ninth grade English class. ON MY PREP.

So now I will have no prep time.

I will teach six hours.

Mondays and Wednesdays I will still be teaching at the community college.

My therapist tells me it is Ok to say no to extra money if it means sacrificing my mental health. But what I have figured out is that it's not just saying no to extra money. It FEELS like I am saying no to my family. Like I am saying, "I could do this to help, but I am not going to." It FEELS like I am saying no to those ninth graders who need a teacher. It FEELS like I am putting myself first. And that? feels wrong.

Before picking this class up? I was hanging by a shred when it came to sleep and time management. I was spending more time than I really had in the social media world in the evenings instead of just going to bed.

Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I just unplug and go to bed?

I guess you could call it addiction. I mean, those of us in the social media world jokingly call it an addiction. Those outside it, don't get the real connections and seriously call it an addiction.

I would say it's more of an attachment.

Which made made me start thinking about this blog.

What am I doing here?

I looked back at a few of my most recent posts. And there were very few that I was proud of.

I love all the guest posts. but those aren't my writing.

Where is my writing? What do I want this space to be?

It used to be an update place so my family and friends "in real life" would know what is going on.

Then it changed to something else. I feel like I am struggling to find my place in this blogging world. And just as this struggle is going on? I am taking on more and more at work. I am putting in 14-16 hour days. I am staying up way too late.

Something is going to totally give. And I am afraid for now? It's my blogging schedule.

I don't mean to quit completely, but I just can't keep up the pace of posting every day.

Even with two guest posts a week? I am having trouble keeping up. Well, keeping up and actually saying something real.

This is scary to me. I love you all. You are my attachments, not my addictions. Everyone here lifts me up. Encourages my good choices and my writing. I haven't had any rude comments (yet).

I am afraid of losing that. You all have become my support net. When I feel like the world has taken a dump on me...when there is a storm swirling in my head...I can come here, pound it out on my keyboard, hit publish, and you all somehow find the perfect words, the perfect comments to fill my heart with hope.

So this self-imposed "backing off" period? Scary. I am going to let my guest posters (who are AWESOME) keep filling in. I hope you will love on them, because loving on them makes me happy since I love them so much.

And I hope you won't leave Sluiter Nation. You are a part of this. An important part.

Back To School Bonanza Guest Post #5: Kris

2010-09-21T06:00:00.001-04:00

We are past the halfway mark of guest posters for my Back to School Bonanza! There is no better blogger to bring us over the halfway hump than Kris from Pretty All True. Kris has a way with words that I have found unparalled in the blogging world. She can paint any picture in the world using nothing but the black and white of the screen. just letters and characters. and all of a sudden you find yourself in her world. Feeling emotions you didn't know you had.

Kris does something with words that I have come to call exploding a moment because she can take one small crumb from the back of her memory and make it erupt into color and sparkle all over your computer screen.

Plus also? Kris teams up with Adrienne to kick my butt in gear when I am feeling sorry for myself. They legitimately build me up when I need it, but they can spot a whiner and they NEVER let me get away with it.

I highly recommend her blog, Pretty All True, not just for the content, but the commenters are always lively too! You canNOT be let down by Kris. Unless swearing and a wee bit of sex turns you off. She MAY get saucy ~~from time to time~~ regularly.

Anyway, I will stop blabbering about Kris and let you read her lovely post. Oh, and you can follow her on twitter. She stops by there ~~from time to time~~ regularly.

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Fighting for Place

In the years before I entered 3^rd grade, I attended many schools. Seven, maybe? Eight?

We moved a lot.

And so, on the first day of the school year? As I walked down the aisles of my new elementary school for the very first time? I had no real sense of this being a permanent place for me. It was just where I would spend my days until the next time for packing and moving arrived.

Always sooner rather than later, and always unexpectedly, that moment seemed to arrive.

It was better not to forge connections, as the inevitable breaking? Would be painful.

And so I tried to step lightly in my new temporary place. To leave no footprints. None to mark where I had been and none for anyone to follow. I was here, as I always was . . . alone. Better that way. Safer.

And so . . . when we were released for recess, I made myself as small and invisible as possible and moved silently through the colorful noisy crowds. Past the children, past the play equipment, past the four-square markings on the concrete. Through the grass . . . to a tree.

An enormous elm tree.

All alone.

Like me.

At the base of this enormous elm? A huge gnarled system of roots surrounded and encircled the trunk, reaching out and into the air before plunging down into the earth. There were spaces and gaps through which hands could be reached, where earth should have been but was missing.

My impression was of some giant force, some huge clenching unseen hands, reaching down from the sky to pluck this tree from the earth. But the tree? Had fought back. Had clutched and stretched for a better grip, had clawed its way deeper into the earth below. Had resisted the pull from above. Had triumphed.

This tree had fought to be here, in my imagination.

And so the roots were not quite where they were supposed to be. Not buried, but exposed. Evidence of the battle that had been waged for a place in this world.

A permanent place.

I walked the rooted circle around the tree, delighted to find that my feet needed never to touch the ground. My thin-soled shoes curved around the roots as I felt for steady purchase, one step at a time. No one paid any attention to me, and I felt? Magical and other-worldly.

And yet rooted.

I walked around and around and around . . . a whole imagined history of frenzied struggling grasping for stability below me.

And then the bell rang.

That first day of 3^rd grade.

At my new school.

And I went in and took my seat in my brand new class. Sat in a room of strangers. Sat quietly and tried to gauge my place. My temporary place in this world.

Marveled at and was caught up in the unimaginable blue eyes of the teacher, who smiled kindly in my direction.

Fell in love and then squeezed my eyes shut against that love.

Remembered the pain of other connections broken.

Severed.

Took out my pencil and set to work. Preparing myself here for whatever was to come next. In the next place.

Looked up again into sparkling friendly blue eyes. Thought back to the Elm that had fought and triumphed for permanence, for place.

Gave of myself just a little. Opened a bit. Maybe this would be the place.

The permanent place.

Sigh.

I ended up staying for eight years.

And for eight years?

I struggled to put down roots. Like that tree, that lovely Elm around which I would dance alone for countless recesses over the years. I struggled to force my roots down into the ground, to grab and hold and triumph.

But it was not to be.

I was at that school for eight years, but unseen hands?

Just outside the breadth of this story?

Reached down repeatedly to rip me from my place.

And I proved?

To be vulnerable and unable to maintain my grip.

On my place in this world.

So many years of my life spent rootless.

But on that first day of 3^rd grade?

At my new school?

As I navigated my way round that magic tree?

For a moment?

In that new beginning?

All seemed possible.

Disappointments and Plans of Attack

2010-09-20T06:00:00.001-04:00

Well, here I am. Back for my second instillation of McFatty Mondays. And it's not a good report, people.

Should I start with the bad news or the good news first? I'm going with bad news first...

I fricking GAINED weight. That's right. I went from 195 to 198.5. There are a few contributing factors to this, but even with those? I really thought I would at least maintain.

Here is how the week went:

First of all, after much debate about how I would go about being more healthy, Miranda convinced me that for the lazy bum that I am, MyPlate at livestrong.com was the best tool. It has been working nicely for her, and I dare to bet she is more active than I am what with her coaching colorguard and all. So I signed up for the free service.

I entered in all my vitals: height, weight, activity level (which I am wondering if I over-estimated), and it calculated my daily intake as 2117 calories per day if I want to lose 1.5 pounds per week. This seemed reasonable.

I learned a lot right off on the first day. For one, my morning coffee with cream? 60 calories. And my once-a-week (sometimes twice-a-week) pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks? Has 600 calories. Yes, another zero added to my normal coffee. Ouch.

I have always been completely starving by lunch time. I realized this is because even after lunch, I usually only consume about 500 calories total for the day. This is CLEARLY not enough and it explains why I hit a wall right around the last hour of the day and don't feel like getting ANY work done once school is done.

Counting calories always seemed like a HORRIBLE task to me, but I found out that by entering things in, I learned what had a million calories and what seemed ok. I also noticed myself saying no to random snacks because A)i just knew they would have a ton of calories that I didn't want and B)if it was only like a few bites of something it seemed useless to try to figure out the calories, so I would just pass.

Now with all this noticing what I was eating, I still didn't eat the best I could. We had already gotten groceries for the week, so I just ate what we had.

I did start adding a fried egg and some wheat toast as breakfast. Cort got up and made it for me so I wouldn't leave the house hungry. This helped some, but I realized I need a mid-morning snack too--something to munch on on my planning hour to get me through to lunch. So instead of having diet coke as a snack, this coming week I have yogurt and granola to try.

Every day except Friday I kept it under my allotted daily calories, so even though I wasn't very active, I figured I would at least stay at 195. I almost fell off the scale today when I saw 198.5. Especially after walking all over Chicago yesterday for hours!

So what could possibly be the good news in all of this?

For one, I am now aware of what I am putting into my body. In fact, I haven't been this aware of my choices since I was pregnant with Eddie.

Secondly? Holy support, batman! You all are amazing. I was so afraid to actually hit publish and tell you my weight AND publish pictures of my fatness, but you all totally lifted me up and supported me and loved me. I am now AGAIN embarrassed to hit "publish" because I let you all down...I GAINED weight.

However, I am giving each meal a make-over one week at a time. This week it's breakfast and my breakfast snack. With the help of Kristin, I now have TONS of choices for breakfast that actually sound GOOD to me. Cort bought eggs, wheat toast, tortillas, nutella, yogurt, and granola with groceries today. I can have a healthy breakfast AND a healthy mid-morning snack, and hopefully this will help me stay full-feeling all afternoon.

So the first week of McFatty? Huge fail whale. But I have a plan. Oh yes...I have a plan.

And if you want to read something sweet and loving that I wrote, you should go check out my post for the series, Small Moments Monday, over at Nichole's blog, In These Small Moments. I am beyond honored that she asked me to be a part of this, and I chose a small moment that I look forward to every day. I hope you enjoy reading my post!

The Story of Two

2010-09-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

Thursday night was the first night since going back to work that Eddie and I have been left alone together.

Cort had class, so he left right around 5:00pm and Eddie cried. He clung to the gate and banged on the front window as he watched his daddy--his majority-of-the-time caretaker leave him.

And then he looked at me.

And cried harder. nice.

So I thought I would make him dinner. some fruit, a couple raw veggies and a nice grilled pizza sandwich (it's like a grilled cheese, but with pizza stuff. So like a hobo pie, but not over a fire. Get it?).

While I am trying to heat the pan and assemble the food, Eddie feels the need to be all underfoot and in the way. Then he tries to "help" by turning the knobs on the gas stove. Sigh...

So I reach in the baking tools drawer and hand him one of those rubber spatulas that you use to scrape the last bit of brownie batter out of the bowl to get in ~~your mouth~~ the pan. He happily toddles away with it feeling oh so important that I entrusted him with a kitchen tool.

I go back to the pizza sandwiches at hand. I get his going and I cut up the rest of his dinner. Then I go to flip his and he is right back under my feet again!

So I mumble, "Ok Ed, come on. Where is your..."

And then I see it.

The Spatula. Or...the remains of it.

At this point I scoop up the spatula, the boy, and the phone and ~~frantically~~ calmly dial my parents' phone number.

After I get my mom on the phone, this conversation unfolds:

Me: OHMYGOD, MOM! Eddie just ate ATE a rubber spatula! What do I do? Is he going to get sick? Will he die? MOM, WHAT DO I DO?!?!

Mom: What?

Me: You know. those rubber spatulas for baking? Eddie took BITES...WHOLE BITES...out of one I let him play with!

Mom: I am sure he's fine. I mean, they're food-safe and all.

Me: MOM! It's RUBBER! In his little tummy? You don't think he's going to get sick?

(meanwhile Eddie is on my hip totally happy to be held and not caring about the spatula or the crazy freak-out his mother has become)

Mom: I am sure it will be just like when aunt Sandy ate a quarter and grandma had to watch her poop. It will be fine.

(at this point I spot specks on the carpet).

Me: I think I just found some on the floor. Maybe he didn't swallow it. UGGG. My first night with him alone and he EATS A SPATULA! This is why we can't have nice things! So do you think he didn't swallow it?

Mom: Well, probably not. I am sure it didn't taste good, so he spit it out.

Me: Then why did he continue to TAKE BITES?

(now my mom is laughing so hard she can barely speak. This is our relationship. I freak out? She gets her giggles in for the day).

Mom: (in between bouts of riotous laughter) Who knows? He's a KID! You ate everything. Your crib, Little People, THE CAR.

Me: ...

Mom: (is still laughing. and? I can hear my dad chuckling in the background too.)

Me: I have to go finish his dinner. So you think he'll be fine.

Mom: (starting to laugh all over again) yes.

So I made Eddie's dinner. He ate like a champ. I threw away the stupid spatula that was so funny and thought about how Eddie eats everything too. His crib (my mom had three of us in that crib of hers. I was the only one to eat it), his little people, the spatula. I shook my head.

Fast forward to bedtime.

I have gathered the little guy (who showed no signs of being bothered by the spatula-eating. Nor did he show remorse. Hmmm) and we headed to the rocking chair.

I watched as he curled in against me and took his lamby up close to his face.

He found the lamby's ear and held it between his finger and thumb (while never letting go of the body of the lamby with his other hand). He started rubbing the ear between his finger and thumb and pulled it right up under his nose.

Just like I used to do.

After about 15 minutes of rocking (5 to get him to sleep and 10 just for me to cuddle him), I set him in his bed. And I just stood there for a couple minutes.

In his sleep he rolled and pulled his blanket up to his nose and got on his stomach/side and kicked his legs out so that he was sprawled as far out as he could be.

I chuckled at what a little bed hog he is.

Just like me.

I'm told by almost everyone we see how much he LOOKS like his daddy. He is so similar to what Cort looked like at this age: blond curly hair, big squishy cheeks, small little kissable mouth.

But it's the small moments when I realize this little Sluiter boy? Is his momma's boy all the way.

He is loud, demanding, controlling, snuggley, kind, and loving.

And he is my little Eddie Bear.

We are quite the pair.

It's Friday...

2010-09-17T06:00:00.005-04:00

It's Friday. I have some things to flip-off. So why don't we begin....

Oh, but I need to give a big holla to my girl, Gigi, at Kludgy Mom for being the brilliance behind this Friday fun! So...HEY!

First, I am flipping off how tired I am. I flipped this off last week too, but it is starting to become dangerous. Yesterday morning, on my way into work? I drifted onto the rumble strips. Don't tell my mom. She would freak. Oh wait...hi mom. FLIP OFF EXHAUSTION!

Next, I want to flip off our crashed motherboard. Thanks a lot for taking out our server. Now I can't back anything up and I am all sorts of nervous about losing things. Even though I probably won't. But I will worry nonetheless...because that is what I do.

While we are on the subject of technologically electronic whatnots that are supposed to make my life lovely, I would like to flip off my eye-fi card that my stupid computer refuses to find and therefore I had to do flip-offs tonight instead of the funny post about how my son ate a rubber spatula. I KNOW! Total flip-off because now you all have to wait to get that story. Oh, and the story about a plastic turd. See? You are all wishing you could read about eaten cookware and random fake poo, and you can't all because of my eye-fi card. FLIP OFF!

Um, there is also this nagging feeling inside me that I would like to flip-off. I am loving my jobs. Really. But now that I am gone so much? That feeling that had gone away all summer is creeping back in. Guilt. The mom fail feeling. I KNOW I am not a fail. My head KNOWS this. But my heart...that place that now belongs to my wee little boy? Is starting to ache. It's filling up with stabby, pointy, sharp things. Guilt is sharp. Did you know that? So I need to flip-off that guilt. And ask it to quit shanking my heart. Hmmm...that sounds like an Elton John song..."don't go shanking my heart....I won't go shanking your heart..."

Wait. What? What was I doing? Oh yeah...the flip-offs. (see? I need SLEEP people!)

So lastly I would like to flip-off my feet. Yes, my feet. I don't know what else to do about them. I exfoliate them. I lotion them. I scrub them. And they are STILL so dry and cracked that I stopped wearing sandals WAY too soon because I didn't want people to see my feet. SERIOUSLY! Why can't I have baby soft toes! Why do I look like I have hooves down there instead of lady feet? Honestly? FLIP OFF!!

Ok...that feels better. Very big weight off. Now? I need sleep so I don't die on my way into work in the morning.

Oh but wait! Check out the lovely and talented Momma Kiss for her flip-offs and a list of linky linkys to clicky clicky to read more Friday Flip-offs.

Happy weekend to you all. Get some sleep, will ya?

Back to School Bonanza Guest Post #4: Adrienne

2010-09-16T06:00:00.001-04:00

How do I even find the words to tell you how much today's guest poster means to me? Of course each of the eight total guest posters (or Blog Babysitters, as I like to think of them) is important to me because otherwise I wouldn't have asked them to be here. Some are PPD mommas who have commiserated with me. We've helped pull each other through hard times. I have a fellow teacher coming up. I have a friend who I know in real life.

All of the blog-sitters are inspiring to me in some way, but Adrienne? She is my inspiration ass-kicker (sorry, mom.). Adrienne is one of those rare people in my life who sees me for who I am, still loves me, AND still calls BS on me when she senses excuses and, well BS. She is the mom of Carter a beautiful boy who happens to have developmental issues in all areas: physical, emotional, intellectual etc. She writes about this and everything else Adrienne over at No Points for Style. It was one of the very first blogs to make me weep from sorrow, heart-ache, joy, and laughing...all in one post.

Clearly I could go on and on. Instead, go to her blog, follow her on twitter, and read her post. You will love her.

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Nest of Vipers

When I was pregnant with my eldest son, my (now ex) husband and I spent lots of time walking around the neighborhood, and since we still liked each other back then, we talked while we walked. Mostly? We talked about our baby, and how we would raise him, and what he might be like, and how nervous I was.

I wasn't nervous about mothering a baby or a little kid; I was scared of the school years. In my mental picture of my baby's first 25 years, things got hard at kindergarten, reached a crisis at the beginning of middle school, and briefly improved during high school before the onset of a tumultuous early adulthood.

Strangely, that exactly matches my life.

And in spite of his parents' divorce when he was only 3 1/2 years old, Jacob was always an easy-going, delightful kid. I'm sure he must have thrown a tantrum sometime, but I don't remember any. He was happy, eager to please, and (with his sister, born exactly 2 years after he was), the joy of my life.

There were hiccups, but overall? Jacob was socially successful at school, church, drama, basketball, and everywhere else. He has an easy, engaging personality and he never tripped the wires that I tripped when I was a child.

All those tripped wires? They were why I was so nervous. I was everybody's favorite target at school, the one they taunted and teased and mocked until any concept I might have had of myself as a strong/smart/capable/interesting/likable person was shredded. I was shredded.

Then? Sixth grade at Madison Middle School. The whole story is here , but for now I'll just tell you that it was brutal, quite possibly the worst year of my life, easily the worst year of my childhood (and my childhood included this). The bullying I endured was relentless. It tore me to pieces and left me staggering.

So when the time came to enroll my firstborn child, my artistic, sensitive, unusual little boy, in middle school? I might have lost my mind just a little bit.

Or maybe I lost my mind a lot.

The middle school to which we were assigned is one of the worst in the city so I went down to central office to apply for a transfer. I listed the three best middle schools that were a reasonable distance from our house. My third choice?

Madison Middle School. Of course.

And which transfer did we get?

Madison Middle School. Of course.

Sometimes? I'm pretty sure the universe is sticking its tongue at me.

I was shocked by my own physical reactions over the months following that letter. Even when I read the letter itself, my heart was pounding, my hands were shaking, and I felt on the brink of a panic attack. How would I do this? How would I send my son to that place?

I didn't think I could do it; I considered handing over the whole thing to Jacob's dad, but on registration day I sucked it up, got together all the necessary paperwork, and drove with Jacob over to Madison.

I packed a paper bag in my purse, just in case I hyperventilated or needed a place to yack.

We walked onto the Madison campus and I was chanting to myself, "It was 25 years ago. It was 25 years ago. It was 25 years ago."

In spite of the chanting, my heart was trip-hammering in my chest. Everything looked the same, felt the same, smelled the same. And wouldn't you know it? Registration was in the gym.

The gym.

The gym, for crying out loud. The place where I wore a target on my back every moment I was there. The place where the kids laughed at my shoes and called me names and pulled my ponytail. The place where the teacher thought it was OK to join in the fun.

I was still chanting 25 years ago 25 years ago 25 years ago and Jacob was looking at me like I'd started growing an arm out of the top of my head when I heard someone call my name, "Adrienne! Hey, Adrienne!"

I couldn't decide what I should do. Throw up? Pass out? Pee my pants?

Not my proudest moment.

Jacob saved me when he tugged my arm and said, "Hey Mom, that lady over there is waving at you." He pointed at a woman I recognized immediately, and I dashed over to the table she was standing behind, told her how relieved I was to see someone I knew.

Kelly and I were classmates at Madison, both of us misfits, both of us struggling to find our place. She looked me right in the eyes and said, "It's different now, Adrienne. It's really different." I tried to breathe, tried to slow my heart. I barely managed not to burst into tears.

Honestly? If I'd known I would have had such a terrible time at registration, I never would have gone. I'd have sent Jacob with his dad.

Kelly helped me register Jacob. She got him his planner, showed him a campus map, and found his class schedule.

Which revealed that Jacob's homeroom teacher? Was my old friend Kelly.

Every now and again the stupid universe throws me a bone.

When I dropped him off on the first day of school, I was almost as panicked as I had been at registration, but not quite. I had to resist the urge to sit in the parking lot all day and wait for him to come back out.

Alright, if I'm being completely honest? I'm pretty sure that, had I not had other children who also needed me that day, I would have stayed in the parking lot. Driving away was hard. I felt a little like I had just thrown my baby into a vipers' nest.

I was on pins and needles all day, and by pins and needles I mean I was a nauseous, weeping, trembling puddle of maternal angst.

And then, at 3:00, there he was. I asked, "How was it Jacob? How was your day?"

He chirped, "Awesome! I loved it! I met some really cool kids and we're going to play basketball after lunch everyday. Oh, and my art teacher is so cool! Wait till I show you what I drew today!"

My heart quieted a little bit. The second day, I was a little less nauseous and trembly and angsty, and the third day was a little better, but I didn't really start to calm down until after Halloween.

And the whole year? Almost every single day of the sixth grade?

He was fine.

Happy, even.

The problems he did run into were very ordinary, very manageable. He forgot to turn in his homework; he had a tiff with a friend; he wouldn't stop drumming on the table in science class.

But no trauma.

We survived.

It's a good thing, too. If someone had bullied Jacob (or my daughter, when she went to sixth grade the next year), I doubt I could have handled that like an adult.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that if my kids had been bullied, I would have done to those bullies what I fantasized about doing to my own bullies for so many years.

See? Sometimes the universe throws other people a bone, too.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-14T22:46:00.000-04:00

The randomness of being a family....

Wrestle Mania

This post is part of Word Up, Yo

and

Wordless Wednesday

Visit both sites for more fun!

Back to School Bonanza Guest Post #3: Lori

2010-09-14T06:00:00.000-04:00

Today is another guest post day! Hooray! Today's post comes complements of Lori at In Pursuit of Martha Points. Lori is one of the funniest, most authentic bloggers out there. She is honest about how great of a domestic goddess she can be (earning herself some Martha Points) and when she falls short (deducting Martha Points). She is also heading up a HUGE year-long fundraising project called Project: Purse and Boots to raise money for the American Stroke Association. I am honored to be a part of this fundraising extravaganza coming up next month (stay tune for details about that)! You will want to follow Lori on twitter the minute you get done reading this. She is just that awesome.

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The School Day Monologues

When you have children, you offer advice and direction. Instruction, lovingly given, spills forth to ensure health, safety, and optimal learning. It is your duty and your honor to have such responsibility. Your sage words are the essential ingredient to a lifetime of academic success.

Would that your children paid any attention. At all. Ever.

All the directions, all the wisdom, all the energy expended in giving them guidance that runs that gamut from considering a career to not eating paste.

It goes…nowhere.

It bounces off the impenetrable surface of a school-aged child the way good taste bounces off reality TV.

As the degree of imperviousness becomes more and more apparent, the instructions become more fervent, more desperate and more brief in a last-ditch attempt to instill anything at all that might allow your kids to walk the path that stays in school and out of hairnets.

“It’s been a long summer and it takes a little while to get back into the idea of school so I want you to pay attention to your teacher and makes some new friends today.”

“Make sure you’ve got everything in your backpack because it’s frustrating to not have something when you really need it.”

“Why don’t you bring an extra juice box so you don’t get dehydrated from running around all day.”

“I don’t think threatening to blackmail your teacher in order to minimize homework is a good idea.”

“It is really not necessary to bring mace to the orientation session this morning.”

“Don’t try to smuggle the cat to school in your lunchbag!”

“Put that power saw away!!”

“PANTS!!!”

Speaking from experience, I can tell you that the most important pearls of wisdom really do break through their barriers and help them along their way.

My children never actually made it to school without pants.

McFatty Monday...The First Post

2010-09-13T06:00:00.007-04:00

**CAUTION: this post is me being the most honest I have ever been about my most hated subject: my weight**

I am doing it. I am joining McFatty Mondays.

sigh.

I have been reading many of my bloggy friends do McFatty Mondays now for a WHILE (including Blair, who came up with this ~~ridiculous~~ great idea), and I have been rooting them on and thinking them so great and brave and awesome for putting their celebrations and failures out there on the old internet for all to see.

I didn't want to do it though.

Until now.

You guys? I watched that dumb vlog of mine. And I wanted to cry at the hot dog that is under my chin and the rolls on my gut.

When did this happen!?!?!

Today I had Cort take pics of me. Caution: these are extremely scary. I almost vom-ed a little in my mouth when I looked at them. But here they are:

DUDE! who stuck a spare tire in my tank top? And what are my shorts DOING? They are long, they are not supposed to try to ride up into my nether regions like that...oh wait, my thighs are eating them!

This is so sad. This is the same place I stood June of 2009 to pose for my 9 month preggo picture. See...

Now here is the part that blew my mind.

When I went in one day before giving birth? My weight was 198. I had only gained 20 pounds. Cort and I had fist bumped because my goal was to keep it under 200 and I did it!

After having Eddie, I lost all 20 of those pounds plus 10 more. See how great I looked....

And then...somehow somewhere, I found all THIRTY of those pounds back.

People? Today I weighed in at 195. ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE POUNDS. that is only 3 less than when I gave BIRTH to a 9.5 pound child.

Cort and I discussed after I wanted to start knifing the fat off that this is what happened....

Before getting pregnant I had decided I need to lose weight. So I hit the gym HARD and bettered my eating habits. I was down to 175ish when I first got pregnant.

I didn't stop when I was pregnant. Well, I did, because I was throwing up and tired all the time, but I also quit all soda, coffee, and junk. I wasn't hungry for any of it anyway, so it was easy to quit. I actually continued to lose weight the first couple months of pregnancy.

After the first trimester, I started walking again. And the only snacks I had were fruit and the OCCASIONAL jelly belly.

I did so great.

After Eddie was born? I lost all the weight. I truly think it's because I was so sore, tired, and overwhelmed that food did not sound good to me for over a month after he was born.

I didn't start to notice weight going back ON my body until after Christmas. And then it was just a small amount. I promised myself I would get back into shape once my crazy schedule chilled out.

But I didn't. What I did was start anti-depressants. That had a side effect of weight gain.

Couple that with not eating the best foods and doing zero exercise and I had a bit of a problem.

I tried running this summer. I really did. My knee injury did not help the quest for exercise. And then with me being the crazy quitter that I am, I never really got back on the training wagon like I should have.

That being said, next week's 5K is going to be more of a run/walk than a run.

Ahem. Anyway.

So now that I weigh the same as I did when I gave birth, I hate myself. Ok, I don't hate my WHOLE self, but I am really, REALLY mad and disappointed with what I have let happen.

I am so driven to succeed in every other area of my life...why can't this be one too?

And that is how I ended up on McFatty Monday.

Every Monday I hope to share my failures and my celebrations (please, please let there be more celebrations than failures!). I'll share what works and where my pitfalls are.

Right now I know that regular exercise just can't be fit into the schedule, but that doesn't mean I am not going to try to be healthier.

So...here I go.

Mommy's First Vlog

2010-09-11T18:23:00.000-04:00

So. You are about to see me talking and sharing in what is called a VLOG. This is my first try at it. Alexis over at Depressions and Confessions issued the challenge to try to capture a day in the life.

She vlogs regularly and makes it look fun and easy.

It is not.

My vlog is terribly edited. It is a tad too long. And? It starts off with me in the morning with no make-up.

So it's not a Hollywood production, but you do get to see my boys at the end and there are glimpses of my classroom and a few of the ridiculous faces I pull when I am talking.

And...here it is.

Now that you've seen it...you should head over to Alexis's place...she has a linky up and you can see some more Day in the Life stuff. Probably ALL more exciting than mine.

Friday Flip-Offs

2010-09-10T10:15:00.001-04:00

Fridays are generally when I link up with Kludgy Mom for Friday Flip-offs. It's a super great way to vent about all the stuff in the past week that has added to the stress and torture of actually getting through the week.

Well, Gigi (Kludgy Mom) is still busy with her back to school blogging (which you should check out because it's a great idea for those who have MORE time now that school is back in session...that would not be me), so to link up to the Flip-offs we are headed over to the lovely Momma Kiss's place today....

1. I am first flipping off this new sleep schedule I am apparently on. I have gone from getting and average of 9 hours of sleep (my bare minimum for survival during the day) to getting hardly 6 hours. This is not good. I spend WAY too much time on twitter (you all are addicting. did you know this? Quit signing on and being all entertaining at my bedtime. ahem). Something is going to have to give. This morning I almost drove off the road on my way into work because my eyes wanted to close out of sheer exhaustion. So a big finger-wagging flip-off to lack of sleep.

2. In connection to that I am also flipping off my crappy time management skills as of late. I am getting stuff done, but I am tired. And I am skipping things like breakfast. Not good. Flip-off.

3. As much as I love my job, my class sizes are getting ridiculous. I have 36 desks in my classroom and my largest two classes are at 37. I have been trying not to complain since I know there is a freshman English class with 49 students right now and they have kids sitting on the floor in between desk rows. But these large class sizes? Are no good for student achievement let alone classroom management. Hopefully we get some teachers called off the lay-off list and the schedules figured out soon. Until then? Flip-off!

4. Ok, this one is a little embarrassing, but it's been driving me nuts. I REALLY need to get in to my stylist (my cousin) and get my hair dyed and get my eyebrows waxed. Gray hairs are sprouting out of my 32 year-young head and dark hairs are growing where I don't want them on my face. I hate all the maintenance of being an adult woman! I have shrubs growing above my eyes! And also? What is with the random chin hairs!?!? So for all the care and time I have to put in to making the hair on my dome look good (or go away, depending on its location), I say FLIP OFF!

WHEW! That felt pretty good.

Now it's your turn. What are you flipping off this week?

Back To School Bonanza Guest Post #2: Grace

2010-09-09T06:00:00.001-04:00

This guest post is by a lovely, beautiful blogger friend named Grace. Grace lives in Mexico with her little family of three. She and I found each other through the online PPD connections: She is a fellow "warrior momma." She writes so eloquently about her battles and shares her joys through words and gorgeous pictures on her blog, Arms Wide Open. I am always in awe of how she can put what she is feeling (and what I feel too) into words. I am so honored that she agreed to write about her battle with going to public school. Enjoy her post! Oh, and don't forget to follow her on twitter!

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I thought about writing a chipper post about fall in Oregon, where I grew up, and the crunchy leaves and the crisp air and the sunshine in September.

I could reminisce picking blackberries on the side of the road, waking up early for soccer tryouts, and going shopping in Portland for school clothes. Fall is beautiful in Oregon. Everyone is outside enjoying the last bursts of sunshine before settling in for winter hibernation (slash seasonal depression).

Oh, but you know what would be so much more fun to talk about?

SCHOOL.

Because we all know that fall=school. At least for about 13 – 18 years. And school is awkward, which makes for great stories.

I am a product of 100% public school. I feel like I turned out ok. I went on to college, graduated, and finished a Master’s degree. I married a smart human being and I believe we produced a decently brilliant offspring. Public school educated me satisfactorily. But, on the emotional side of things, public school was a bit traumatizing.

Let me explain.

The first traumatic moment occurred in kindergarten. I can remember it vividly. We were all sitting on the carpet. I got up from the front row when it was my turn for Show & Tell. And … no you didn’t.

We’ll just call him Billy. HE FLIPPED UP MY SKIRT. In front of the entire class. I was mortified. I think to this day it has affected my ability to wear a mini skirt.

Now I’m in 1^st grade. I am seated next to … let’s call him Carl … He becomes my stalker. In my little first grade mind, I am being harassed. I am being violated by this devilish boy. And as a result I am crying at home and begging my mom not to send me to school and subject me to this dangerous mini-human. As my (very flawed) memory recalls, this went on and on and was terribly traumatic, and I finally was moved to a different seat next to a lovely girl named Karen.

In 2^nd grade I went through a brief identity crisis. I so desperately wanted more attention from my beautiful teacher, who happened to also be named Mrs. Hershey (No joke). So desperate in fact that I took up thumb sucking. In second grade. I remember it was revolting, but it did indeed work.

3^rd grade was filled with girl drama. There were at least three of us fighting over Ronnie T (name changed to protect his privacy. ha. as if he reads this blog) - the new boy at school. Following the girl fights, our teacher would require us to participate in “Monkey hugs.” I mean, really, a monkey hug does make all things better.

After the romance, or lack thereof, that was third grade, I did finally get my first real-life boyfriend in 4^th grade. To whom I never spoke. Or touched. Or was in the same room with. (besides recess)

Ah, 5^th grade. This was the year the trauma really hit hard. I was told I have a mustache. Who knew? To this day I am paranoid. Wax is a (Italian) girl’s best friend.

In order to cope with my newly discovered mustache, in 6^th grade I decide I wanted to be a gangster. So my friends, (scratch that), friend and I started our own gang – SBD. You guessed it, Silent But Deadly. Because we were really deadly and dangerous and stuff.

Ok, not really. But, we did wear our clothes five times too big and we did egg a few houses. And maybe a church. (the SHAME.)

These are the kinds of things that one endures in public school in the 1980s. I lived to tell about it.

Sluiter Nation Home Tour: The Room We Live In

2010-09-08T06:00:00.007-04:00

By far the most aptly named room in our house is this one: The Living Room.

I thought about cleaning it all up, fluffing pillows, and vacuuming before I started snapping pictures, but that would have been me lying to you. And I don't do that.

The only time this room is "clean" is after a day of cleaning. It gets straightened up ~~every~~ ~~most~~ some nights before we go to bed.

This room is hands down the most "used" room of the house.

It's probably also our most changed room since having a wee one.

This room used to have quite a few ~~beautiful~~ breakable ~~decorative touches~~ knick-knacks. Now it is filled with ~~loud~~ fun toys for Eddie.

Some of the things I love and could never put away are still out though. And Eddie has picked up this picture and pointed to his momma and daddy many, MANY times.

We are surrounded by love in this room.

Wonderful news has been shared here.

Friends from far away have gathered to catch up and share spirits in this space.

As a family we have faced hard times in this room as well. The phone rings and this is where we sit to hear what is on the other end.

Our family spends a lot of time on the floor in this room. The carpet here is probably the most dingy and worn down of anywhere else in our house. But it is also the most comfortable.

This is where Eddie first rolled over. First crawled. First laughed. First pulled up. First cruised. First walked. And tonight? First climbed.

This is the room we hunker down in together in the cold storms of life. We are surrounded by knowledge and love in this room.

Here is where I have spent countless hours reading and doing grad work and blogging and reading your blogs and commenting.

Here is where I sat for many hours of the wee morning, crying out with labor pains before finally going to the hospital.

Here is where I sat when I told Cort that we were going to have a baby...and that baby was Eddie.

Here is where I tearfully admitted I needed help. That what was kicking my ass was probably PPD and I couldn't make it go away on my own.

Here is where I cuddled a sick little boy until we both fell asleep.

I have stared at this wall while recovering from miscarriages.

That happy couple who had no idea what was ahead of them.

I have fallen asleep to those young kids smiling down on my while I cuddled a sweet newborn in my arms because I was too sore to get in my bed, and he was too snuggly to put in his.

I have cried at this couple.

I have smiled at this couple.

I have yelled at this couple.

I have pleaded with this couple.

I have prayed for this couple.

Some people say that the room with the Big TV is the room people flock to.

In our case it is true.

But this room? Is not about the TV.

Back To School Bonanza Guest Post #1: Kimberly

2010-09-07T06:00:00.000-04:00

Today is the first day of school. This is the week where all the jobs I do are officially in full swing and operating all at the same time.

People? I am busy. And to help me with this out of control busyness that is my world, I have recruited some of my most favorite bloggers in the whole wide world to come in and babysit Sluiter Nation twice a week this month.

First up is my great friend, Kimberly. I don't even know how to describe Kim to you except that she is the funniest Canadian ever (I know, I know...there are LOTS of funny Canadians...she still wins)! She also has some sweet gold pants and loves everything Chuck Norris. And? She is a PPD/A survivor too! She makes me laugh every single day on her blog, All Work and No Play Make Momma Go Something Something... She has written hilarious and extremely poignant posts about her life as a PPD Momma and as the Momma of a sweet little boy. She is also a wonderful friend. You can follower her on twitter, but before you do that, please read this hilarious post about how she? Was a total trendsetter way back in kindergarten.

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I was so excited when I got an email from my dear friend Katie asking me to do a guest post on her blog, that my socks literally flew off my feet. I know, you're thinking "Kim, did that really happen?" and my answer is yes. Yes it did. Here's the proof:

Katie had asked if I could share one of my favourite childhood memories of school and the first one that came to mind was the day I, the 5 year old kindergarten Kimberly, became a trend setter.

The first few weeks of kindergarten were a bit of a culture shock for me. I went from being a very boisterous outgoing star of my little world to being one terribly shy 5 year old. Like so terribly shy that I was too afraid to ask if I could use the potty. There were many days that I left school walking in tightly calculated steps praying that my bladder wouldn't explode down my leg and ruin my Rainbow Brite running shoes and dear God. Save. the Rainbow Brite shoes. They were awesome.

I digress...

Every morning, we started our routine with singing the national anthem. On this particular morning, my tiny 5 year old will power to contain almost torturous levels of urine dissipated as I stood up. Immediately, I knew that I was in serious trouble.

I contemplated raising my hand and asking to use the potty but there was no time for that. My bladder was ready to bust at the seams and I couldn't wait long enough for the teacher to notice my desperate waving hand.

In a panic, I came up with a plan...if I just peed a little bit, like just enough to ease the pain, I could hold off using the bathroom until the big hand was touching the 8 and the little hand was touching the 12...group potty break time.

So there I was, standing proudly at attention, singing my heart and soul out while trying to inconspicuously release just a teenie bit of urine. As I looked down in slight relief as the urine trickled down my pants, I noticed that my trickle had made my pants appear that they were magically springing a very obvious and large leak that I couldn't stop. I frantically began un-tucking my shirt to hide the evidence when I heard Nathan shout aloud:

"She's pee peeing in her pants!"

I like to think that at that exact moment the record playing the outdated version of "Oh Canada" screeched to a halt as 20 something curious 5 year old necks snapped in my direction. In case peeing my pants wasn't embarrassing enough, they kicked up the "I wanna just dig a hole, crawl in it and die" factor to a whole other level when they started chanting in unison...through giggles...

"Kim is peeing. Kim is peeing."

Chanted. In. Perfect. Unison. It was like they knew that this was going to happen all along so they had strategically rehearsed it in someones tree house with the aide of a real singing coach to help them precisely master the embarrassment level.

The timing, the pitch, everything was that perfect.

What transpired next was a whirlwind of finger pointing, slipping and sloshing, screaming, and tears, lots and lots of tears while the teacher tried her best to drag me to the safety of the bathroom. By then, it was too late. My tiny 5 year old bladder was already emptied onto the kindergarten floor. I was sent home that day in soggy pants and my dignity jammed into my Popples backpack.

The next morning, against my wishes to stay at home, I walked in to the classroom with my head bowed down in defeat and a bladder that was thankfully emptied. As the anthem chimed in the background, I stood up and started to choke through "Oh Canada" when I heard Nathan shout out loud

"Adrian's peeing! Adrian's peeing"

I looked over and sure enough, not only was he peeing, but so was Sarah T and Julie and Darcy. Before I knew it almost all the kids had unloaded their bladders on the classroom floor while our poor dear teacher was yelling in hysterics begging us all to stop and go to the bathroom.

That day my friends, is when I, Kimberly Pee Pee Pants went down in infamy as a trend setter. Dear Sacred Heart Kindergarten Teachers, You are welcome.

Thanks again Katie for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I had lots of fun rekindling old school memories! I wish you much luck starting this school year!!

He's HOW Old?

2010-09-06T11:07:00.000-04:00

My little brother turned 30 on Thursday.

It's still weird to me to think of my brothers as adults. It's even weirder than thinking of myself as an adult.

My little brother, Chris--the middle child--was my first playmate.

We are 2 and a half years apart.

He was the daddy when we played house.

He was my student when we played school.

He was the customer when we played bank/post office/grocery store/etc.

And now he's 30.

His girlfriend, Sarah (who is also the mother of his little boy and who he has just recently gotten back together with after a six year hiatus...but that is another post), wanted to throw him a surprise party. So she emailed me.

I didn't even hesitate! YES! My little brother should have a great party! He has been through a lot in his 30 years and he is finally happy...and yes, there should be a party for that.

We got my mom and sister-in-law, Ashley involved and turned my parents' garage into party central. My brother, Mike, Ashley, and I put up the decorations in the garage. My dad blew up a bunch of balloons with the air compressor.

Then a bunch of Chris and Sarah's friends and family came over. And we waited....

He was expecting a small dinner get together with Sarah's parents and our parents and my little family. But what he walked into was everyone! He was pretty shocked.

Chris is not a fan of being the center of attention. He doesn't really like surprises. But I think he was happy with this one--once the shock wore off, of course.

My mom ordered him a Dairy Queen ice cream cake...his favorite. He was a little annoyed that we all were going to sing to him--putting him at the center of attention yet again, but we did it anyway.

And yes, we put 30 candles on that cake! Jack helped his daddy blow them out as Sarah watched. It was so great.

Everyone enjoyed each other's company, the yummy food and cake, and most of all, Chris and Sarah and Jack being together as a family again.

This day made me emotional and happy for so many reasons. My little brother who I have always fiercely protected is a thirty-year old man, but also? He has his family. I know our family and Sarah's family have been praying for this for six years. And now it's coming to fruition.

So I say happy birthday, little brother. And happy family. We love you guys very, very much!

25 Design Winner and Eddie with Senator Hair

2010-09-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

As promised...the winner of the Twenty Five Design Giveaway is....

SKYWAITRESS!!!

Yay, Abigail! Email me at ksluiter (at) hotmail (dot) com

You have 48 hours (until noon on Monday) to claim your prize or else I will choose another!

And then because I just couldn't do a post strictly about a winner, I thought I would show you what happens when Cort bathes Eddie when I am not home...

Cortney combed Eddie's wet little head down all slick and straight...

He apologizes to Eddie on the daily for the curls.

But I love them! They are so cute. Although....

Having his hair combed over like a little senator is cute too!

Hope your weekend is going fabulously!!!

I Lost What I Was Going to Say

2010-09-03T22:11:00.000-04:00

My wonderful friend, Adrienne always tells me to "write the story just behind [my] eyes" when I go to her for topic advice. And I always listen to her.

Earlier today there was something right behind my eyes. I was going to blog about it. Then I lost it. Blame it on mom brain, or the fact that today was suddenly fall around here and I was all cozy and sleepy about it...i don't know. I just know I lost the story.

But it's Ok! Because also today? My other wonderful friend, Miranda (who could very well be my long lost twin), tagged me in a blog game thingy.

The idea is to answer the questions that the tagger has. Then come up with new questions and tag some new bloggers. and the whole world will be filled with bloggers knowing bloggers...or something.

Anyway...it gives me something to write about in lieu of the fact that I lost the story behind my eyes. Sigh...

So. here we go.

1. What decade during the last century would you have chosen to be a teenager? Why?First let's get it out of the way that I WAS a teenager in the 90's. And I actually really loved it. Looking back I totally wouldn't change being a part of all that teen angst and grunge music and the birth of alternative music and the flannel (oh the flannel!) and the Doc Martins. It was all so great! But at the time, I probably would have picked the 70's. I loved the peace movements and the bell bottoms and the long, straight hair. Hmmm...wait. I did all those things in the 90's too. Ok. So I will stick with the 90's. They were awesome.

2. What's the best compliment you've ever received?
Hmmm...lots of nice things have been said to me. I am all lucky that way. I think the nicest thing that I can remember ever being said to me was in the 10th grade. I am from a VERY conservatively religious small town. Pretty much everyone went to some sort of church youth group on Wednesday nights.

My friend was newish to town (she moved here from a suburb near Chicago in the middle of our 8th grade year). Everyone pushed her to come to THEIR church. It was well known that her family didn't attend church and it became like a crusade to see who could "save" her.

One time, right in chemistry class, she said to me, "you know, Katie, you have never once pushed me to go to church with you. Why?"

and I said, "you don't like church. you told me that before."

and she said, "you are the only person who I would think is like Jesus. He supposedly just accepted people. He didn't judge them. all these other people are judging me for not going to church. You have never judged me. Thank you."

and that is all we have ever said about church to each other. But I have carried it with me since. She taught me that my actions show what is important to me MUCH more than any church membership.

3. What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
I don't consider much of what I do brave. Mostly because I don't really feel brave while I am doing it.

Although I guess for me trying to get pregnant for a third time after two miscarriages was something I truly felt brave doing. I knew what COULD happen. I went through it. I knew it could happen again. But I got pregnant anyway.

4. Until what age would you like to live and why?
I want to live old enough that all children I might have can remember me happily. I want to live long enough that my children are independent and Cortney does not have to struggle to care for them on his own. I want to live forever. Just like my cat. We will both never die.

Ok so now I tag some peeps that I want to answer some questions. And this is a stumper because some of the people who I would LIKE to do this...probably won't. But this is who I am going to tag....
1. Grace
2. Lisa
3. Torie

And here are you questions my dear ones:

1. If you could give your child anything that he/she does not already have, what would it be and why?
2. What do you believe your biggest strength is?
3. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?
4. And the age old question...if you could talk to anyone alive or dead who would it be and why?

Ok...answer those questions, dearies!

Thankful Thursday: The Teacher Edition

2010-09-02T06:00:00.015-04:00

Today I am joining the beautiful and talented Nish of The Outdoor Wife in being Thankful on a Thursday!

As many of you know, this week Cortney and I went back to school. Our vacation from classes is officially over.

I was reluctant to go back. I protested the summer being done. I whined about getting up early. I lamented leaving my boys. I found everything possible with what was WRONG with going back to school.

And then I went back. And throughout the speakers and the professional development lessons and training, I kept a list of notes. Today I want to share those notes with you:

We were reminded on Tuesday that you don't choose to be a teacher. Being a teacher chooses you. I am thankful for the fact that teaching profession chose ME!

As a teacher group we were also told repeatedly that "nobody rises to low expectations." I am thankful for this reminder. I may make a poster out of it and hang it in my classroom to remind ME to expect great things of ALL my students.

I am over and over again thankful for my job. I am thankful not just that I get to do what I love but that in this craphole economy and in a whirlwind of teacher cuts and layoffs, I am going back to school. I am earning a paycheck for my family.

I am thankful for every single student that comes through my door. Each one of them is just as valuable as the next. Each one can achieve unimaginable goals and challenges. And I am thankful that I get to be a part of that.

Even though I work two jobs, take on extra responsibilities, and am gone a LOT for those jobs, I am thankful that I am modeling a positive, hardworking woman for my son. I am allowing him to grow up and see that this is what family is about. This is what being a good citizen is about. This is what following your heart is about.

So many of my students do not have a strong male figure in their life. Some have lost their fathers. I am thankful that Eddie is growing up with not just his dad in his life, but an uncountable number of strong, positive male role models. He may not have his Papa around, but he has men who will rally around him and show him how to be a hardworking, sensitive, strong man.

I am thankful that I still get choked up by student success.

I am thankful that my students tell me that I have the "mom look" and "mom ears". Just that they associate me with "mom" fills me with joy.

I am thankful for the school district I work in and the sense of community we have. They rally around students and other staff during times of hardship and joy and hold those people up. I am incredibly blessed to be part of such a caring school.

And of course, I am thankful for my little brother who turns THIRTY today! My life would not be the same without him. He makes me smile when I don't want to and never ceases to keep my life interesting. And he was my very first student! Oh and also? Probably won't even read this. But I am going to say this anyway: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHRIS! I love you!!! Thank you for playing school with me all those years ago!

Whew! I know that was a long list. If you got through it all, thank you. I am also thankful for you, dear reader. You have lifted me and my family up in thoughts, prayers, emails, comments, and more to let us know that we will make it through the tough stuff that we always seem to have going on.

You help us keep the joy in our hearts.

Sluiter Nation is thankful for all our blessings.

Can't get enough warm fuzzies with all the Thankfulness? Have some of your own and want to link up? Head over to The Outdoor Wife!

What? Another Giveaway? OK!

2010-09-01T06:00:00.003-04:00

Have I mentioned my new Etsy crush? I haven't? Oh I must tell you about it....

I am in love with Twenty Five Design. IN LOVE.

First of all, Torie, the lovely lady behind the rosettes, saved my hair do this summer. I had a wedding to go to and NOTHING to do with my hair. Torie jumped in and told me about Twenty Five Design and how she can custom a headband for my outfit.

I LOVED it! It went great with my outfit, it stayed put in my hair, AND...

It even looked ok when I had to slick my hair back into a pony tail from all the sweating and dancing I was doing! That is a sign of a quality hair accessory!

Anyway, you can imagine how excited I got when Torie wanted to do a giveaway! Now I can share her awesome with YOU!

Aren't they way cute? She has a gallery of headbands and other hair accessories in her Etsy Shop.

She also loves to do custom orders. I have one that is royal blue and white--the school colors of the high school where I teach--so I can wear it on spirit days.

And she has tons of new colors coming out for this fall to match all of your new autumn clothes! Sooo...what is the giveaway?

YOU...yes YOU...could win one headband of your choice (either from Torie's shop or a custom order) from Twenty Five Design!

MANDATORY to enter:
Leave me a comment here telling me what you would get if you won.

For you over achievers you can also enter the following ways (please leave each entry in its own comment):

*follow 25design on twitter (come back and tell me you are).

*"like" Twenty Five Designs on facebook (come back and tell me you do).

* Tweet about this giveaway by saying something fancy like, "I'm entered to win a headband by @25design at Sluiter Nation! http://www.sluiternation.com @ksluiter"

*Make your facebook status say something cool like, "Sluiter Nation is giving away a headband by Twenty Five Design! Enter to win yours! http://www.sluiternation.com"

I am giving you FIVE ways to enter! FIVE! Pretty awesome! Good luck!

This giveaway will be open from Wednesday, September 1st at 6am est until Saturday, September 4 at 12am est. Winners will be announced by noon on Saturday, September 4th.

This giveaway is open to US and Canada Residents only. Sorry rest of the world. You know I love you too!

*Disclaimer: Twenty Five Designs is providing the spoils of this giveaway. I was not compensated for this review/giveaway in anyway. I own two headbands by Twenty Five Designs that I purchased myself. And anyway? My opinions can't be bought.

Sluiter Home Tour: Where we Chow Down

2010-08-31T06:00:00.001-04:00

This is the circle of friends. A co-worker friend got this for me as a gift a couple years ago and I love it. It's place is in the center of our dining room table--because I always pictured the dining/kitchen area as a place to gather.

I posted about the kitchen half of our kitchen/dining area a couple weeks ago. This week we are jumping the island to take a peek at where we eat the food that is prepared.

It's not very big. It is not very big AT ALL. In fact? This area is tiny. We all get a little squeezed in when we have friends over.

And you can see that this area also doubles as the home office area for now. We are working on that though. Hopefully by the end of the year our laptops will live downstairs on the desk. But for now? Kitchen table.

Which causes clutter. Which stresses me out.

ANYWAY....

Besides the circle of friends and our cool high top table, this is really my most FAVORITE thing in the dining area...maybe in the whole house. This painting was done by our very best friend, Mat, (of m9 design). He was just starting to do large, custom paintings out of his apartment back in Chicago. We sent him this picture from our visit to Seattle:

He took the top and made it into an awesome painting for us. and he changed the time on the clock to read 6:18 since that is our anniversary: June 18. And he made the sky blue, since that is just happier and looks better in painting form.

It is one of the first things you see when you come into my home, and I LOVE that!

One of the LAST things I want you to see is this:

Admittedly this looks REALLY good right now. Cortney cleaned it up. It was so bad that it gave me anxiety that soon we would have nasty bugs living in our house feasting off what Eddie left behind.

And splat mat or not, the carpet in this area is GROSS.

And so are the blinds next to his chair. He enjoys rubbing his nasty hand on them. I realize vertical blinds are not the worlds most beautiful window treatment to begin with, but this? Makes them barfable.

I have a love-hate relationship with our dining area. While I love the things we have put in it to make it ours and to make it cozy, I also hate that this is where many frustrations occur.

The battles with Eddie over not flinging food.

Budget discussions.

The battles with Eddie over eating certain foods.

Eddie getting stuck under chairs.

The constant clutter of having our computers and "work" on the dining room table.

But even with all those frustrations? This is the place that we spend the most time together. We eat all of our meals here together. We chat and laugh here together. We discuss our days and our troubles and our joys here.

together.

If you are new to this tour and would like to see previously "shown" rooms, here are the links:
Master bedroom
nursery
Kitchen

Missing the Silly

2010-08-30T06:00:00.001-04:00

This is it.

Summer is officially over.

I know, I know. Good old "Kyle" on Storm Team8 claims we are entering into a big old heat wave and temperatures are going to soar into the 90's. I realize this SOUNDS like summer is still here. But it is not.

Tonight (Monday), I start teaching. Monday and Wednesday nights I will be teaching a composition class at Grand Rapids Community College.

Also this week? Meeting start at my high school teaching job. And students will be back in the desks the day after labor day.

I will be logging more than 60 hours a week with driving and working combined.

Every day I will leave before my little buddy is awake.

Two nights a week I won't return until after he is sleeping.

I will see even less of Cortney because he too is starting classes. He will be in class Monday and Thursday evenings. And he will be gone bowling Tuesday evenings.

We will go from being a family of three who sees each other from sun up to sun down every single day, to being a family of 3 who is only together on weekends.

I really, REALLY wanted to blog about something else. Something more cheerful. Especially since I was able to find my bond with my little boy (as posted about yesterday...in the post below this one).

How overjoyed was I? And now? I feel like I am being ripped away.

Our family has had such fun, silly moments that we totally would have missed out on if we didn't have all this time together.

Today for instance, my child decided to...

wear a box on his head and walk into things.

place his sippy IN a bucket and drink it this way (he is going to be AWESOME in college, by the way).

And pull his diaper almost completely off while standing and watching Little Einsteins.

And then? When he noticed that WE noticed what he was doing? He thought he could distract us by "dancing it out." For your viewing pleasure:

How in the world can I go back to work? I am going to miss so much fun and so much silly!

Eddie is on the verge of saying some REAL words....

He is getting so funny and so crazy...

We have developed a bond...

Cortney and I have just figured out to co-exist at home all day with each other AND still like each other...

I know all the positives about starting school and getting into a routine and making some extra money for my family.

I know this.

But I am also acutely aware of what I will be missing.

He is My Boy

2010-08-29T13:19:00.001-04:00

First? Because Ann didn't get back to me within 48 hours of being announced the winner (and I couldn't find an email address for her), I drew a NEW winner of the Gussy Giveaway...PINKFLIPFLOPS! You are the new winner! Email me at ksluiter (at) hotmail (dot) com and I will get you hooked up!

____________________________________________________________________________

Yesterday was a glorious day. It was the kind of day we live in Michigan for. It was a boating/beach day.

We frolicked in the big waves, soaked up the warm sun, and played on the sandy beach. We had fun.

We were on the beach for a good four hours before riding back to the marina. It was a rolly, wavy, day, but we loved it.

We all returned home wind blown, a little sandy, and very much exhausted. But very happy. And very grateful to friends who are like our family.

As expected, after his bath, Eddie was WAY tired after missing his nap--save for a snooze on the boat out to the beach and back from the beach. So I rocked him and he was out by 8:00pm.

I popped some popcorn and Cortney and I settled in with our computers and the History channel and some water to re-hydrate us from the big day. All was well.

Until 10:00pm. It started as just a small whimper. Usually if we hear a little moan or whimper it just means he's rolling over and we don't hear another peep.

This time the whimper turned into long, sad moans. I looked up at Cort and said that I would go see what the deal was. I figured he lost his pipey in all his blankies and lovies and just needed it back and maybe also a little pat on the back.

When I walked into his semi-dark room I saw him lying on his back just wailing. He was frantic. He was afraid. And his eyes were still closed.

Bad dream? Night terror? It's hard to tell when they are this small and can't tell you. So I picked him up and tried to give him his pipey and rock him.

He screamed. Terrified wailing screams.

He was shaking. He was gasping for air. He was TERRIFIED.

So I brought him out of his room into the living room where the lights and TV were on. I tried to hand him to Cortney, but he screamed harder. He reached for me. He shook because he couldn't catch his breath.

I took him up in my arms and he put his head down and stopped crying. He was still shaking and gasping for breath, but he wasn't crying.

I thought maybe he could be rocked. We went back into his room and rocked back and forth, back and forth. He quieted. His eyes closed. He clung to his blankie.

I gently set him back in his bed. As I was walking back down the hall? He started screaming again.

Cortney tried this time. Eddie bawled while Cort rocked him. He screamed when Cort tried to lay him down. He bellowed as Cort brought him back out into the living room.

And then he saw me. And reached frantically for me.

I took my little boy. And he quieted. And snuggled down. We hunkered down in my chair together until he fell asleep. Then I took him to his room and rocked for a little while.

He woke up one more time, but Cort was able to sooth him back to sleep for the night.

But you guys? In that terror? He wanted ME. He clung to ME.

Most days he doesn't care which parent has him. He has even had times where he has preferred Cort. But for the first time? He only wanted ME.

Although I had visions of the night being LOONNGG if he didn't stay sleeping and wouldn't let Cortney console him? something in me smiled that my little boy wanted his mommy when he was scared.

It settled something deep inside me that he could only feel safe enough to close his eyes if he was near me. It made the momma in me sing.

This is what I longed for all summer. It is the connection I had hoped to foster with my little boy. It was the one goal on the To Do list that really mattered.

And after last night? I can indubidably say that that goal? Has been checked off the list...and I am quite enjoying it.

And my little boy?

He is MY little boy. And I? Am HIS momma. We have a bond. And it is strong. Indubitably strong.

Friday Flip-offs #6 and the Giveaway Winners!

2010-08-27T06:00:00.003-04:00

Before I start flipping stuff off from my week, I need to get down to some much awaited business. That would be the business of the winners....so....here they are:

Tie A Little Ribbon $15 Store Credit: Pua

JSanken Photography prints: Tricia

Gussy $30 store credit: Ann

Bird E Studios bib, paci clip, diaper clutch bundle: Blair

The Vintage Pearl $25 store credit: Mormishmom

Yay!!! I am super excited for all of you! You have 48 hours (until Sunday morning) to claim your prize by emailing me at ksluiter (at) hotmail (dot) com. If you don't get to me by then? I will draw a new winner.

Oh, and come back next week! 25 Design and I are teaming up for...ANOTHER GIVEAWAY! Woot!

And now for the less exciting stuff....the flip-offs.

First? I need to re-flip off roseola. Just because um, hello? you struck my son TWICE this summer! That is not even supposed to be able to happen! You are mean and make him grumpy and sad. Cut it out! and? FLIP OFF!

Next, I am going to go ahead and flip off long, boring meetings. I realize that back to school means meetings. I get that. But why, oh why do they have to be so long and boring? We hear the same thing every year (or semester depending on which of my teaching jobs we are talking about). Either how great the school is doing and growing and how they can't do it without us or how we are still losing students and cuts are imminent (again) and that we need to work harder on improving test scores. I mean, can't this be summed up better? Or have the time be more useful? I don't know...it just sucks to jam it all in at once and burn everyone out right at the start.. so, um...FLIP OFF!

Also, I need to flip off rude emails. In my experience, if you don't know what you are talking about? Don't go on a rant. You look like an idiot. And? I will flip off your email on my blog. So flippity flip off.

And lastly, on a serious note, I want to flip off unemployment. Really, unemployment? You suck the worst. Not because you rob our family of money for groceries, bills, and Eddie's college fund (well for those things too), but because you make my wonderful, talented, sweet husband feel like crap from time to time. He tries so hard not to let you get to him, but sometimes? You make him feel like less than he really is and that makes me want to go all medieval on you. I hate you, unemployment. Hate. So I am flipping you off. And if I could? I would also kick you in your arse. And tell you to suck it.

WHEW! Ok! That feels better!

What is that you say? You want even MORE flip-offs? Well, then, head over to my girl, Kludgy Mom's and read hers (and the eleventy billion others who have linked up)...and if you are feeling all flippity too? Join in!

Potter Picnic 2010

2010-08-26T06:00:00.004-04:00

This past weekend was the annual Potter Picnic--Cort's mom's side of the family. There are five siblings in my mom-in-law's family and each of the five sibling families wore a different color T-shirt. Ours? Yellow!

The Potter Picnic is fun, but it is SERIOUS fun! It is NOT your mediocre, run-of the mill family reunion. OH NO...

It all starts out with games...tournament style...where you get to compete for prizes. There is something for EVERYONE.

Badminton

Ladder Ball (or as we Sluiters call it, Hilly Billy Golf)

Cornhole (yes, that is the real name of this game. what can I say? we are classy)

more corn hole...just because we all needed one more giggle at the name.

Volleyball

Horse shoes

Yes, there were even written quizzes. The Potter family? They take competition seriously.

and you can't leave until you guess how many m&ms or what the three objects in the coffee can are.

And you KNEW there was a score board, right?

And Grandpa and Grandma Potter? They supervised and enjoyed watching us run amok.

And the littlest Potter also did some supervising. Oh hey, Miles!

The trophies: which totally went to the Red Shirts (Keith Potter family) AGAIN this year. I think they have everyone by sheer numbers in their family!

Debate over the scoreboard.

Did I mention it's serious business? Because it SO is.

Even Eddie found it fun to run around the playing fields (yes, there are even regulation lines chalked in. SERIOUS, people.)

The yellow team? We did not do so well.

But Cody totally represented by qualifying to climb the rope! And he did it with speed AND agility! We were so proud!

We all watched the climbers. They were pretty amazing. And? I am glad I didn't have to try because I am fairly sure I would have hurt myself in more than one way.

The yellow team in their glory...with G&G Potter

The entire Potter Picnic. We are so dang lucky to have this much love in just ONE of side of the family!

Such a fun day...even if we had to leave before dinner because Eddie was LOSING it from lack of nap.

And I think? Grandpa and Grandma had a pretty happy day too!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-25T09:31:00.000-04:00

In honor of my little brother's impending one year anniversary to his beautiful bride, today's Wordless Wednesday is a little vintage Eddie and his cousin Jack...all suited up and waiting for wedding fun.

This post is linked up at:

join us for more Wordless Wednesday fun!

Fourteen Months

2010-08-24T06:00:00.001-04:00

My Eddie Bear is now fourteen months old. We just realized that we now can say, "at this time last year you were..." because he has been around for longer than a year!

As i was getting him dressed the other day I chuckled about the fact that at this time last year? I almost NEVER put pants on him. Just a onsie and socks.

Now we are lucky to GET clothes on this guy! He tends to wiggle away and RUN when he is nude! After a bath? He makes a break for it! Because playing with toys is fun, but playing with toys in the nude? Way better.

He is also getting pretty darn creative about WHERE he plays. In fact, he can usually get himself into these spots, but has developed a most annoying WHINE when he cannot get himself out.

He is also VERY helpful. If one of us is trying to do something, Eddie will be right there trying to help us out. In this case, Cort was trying to fix the igniter on the gas stove. Don't worry, no one was blown up.

Eddie is getting unbelievably smart. This could just be my mommy brag talking here, but what other kid would grab the muffin pan, and then promptly put each of his little peoples and their animals in each holder. And then find a couple other toys when he realizes there are still vacancies in the muffin pan?

Seriously though, he is all inquisitive and likes to put things where they belong (the gate by the steps is supposed to be closed. All doors are closed. Pillows get set on the couch. Etc). or where they will fit (anything that is small enough DOES go into the ball popper, for instance.). He likes to figure out things like his shape sorter and his duplo blocks.

And he is still quite the eater. He eats ONLY table food now. Very rarely do we prepare something different for him. (Here he is eating chicken nuggets, melon, and avocado with milk in his sippy.) He knows when he is full and let's us know by either threatening to toss his plate to the floor, or, if we are not paying attention, actually throwing the plate on the floor. And then whining.

Have I mentioned the whining? Yes, it is a new, not fun thing about 14 months. He throws tantrums (throwing things and hitting) when he is displeased. We are ~~handling it pretty well~~ trying to teach discipline by giving time outs and taking him away from certain situations. He is strong-willed, that is for sure, but little does he know...we are MORE strong-willed. Bwhahahaha!

Oh yes, and those curls? Are coming in nicely, as you can see. I think I hear Cort tell Eddie every day, "I'm sorry son." or "someday? You will have two choices for haircuts. Short or Long." As cute and soft and lovely as they are now? They will be Cort's hair someday if history tells us anything. But I am ok with that because I think it's cute.

It's hard not to love those chubby cheeks and that curly hair. I probably cuddle up to that face a million times a day. And he is giving more and more "kisses" lately too. And he is getting some verbal communication. He has words for Mama and Dada. But he knows "all done" and "night night" and "nom noms" (for food). He recognizes them when we use them and is starting to imitate them back to us.

Yes, this little guy sure is different at 14 months than he was at 2 months! But I am getting more hugs and kisses and cuddles and chattiness, so I will take it!

Back To School Bonanza Giveaway Recap

2010-08-23T18:00:00.000-04:00

Whew! That? Was a WHOLE bunch of giveaways! While I sat in school and worked on syllabi and lesson plans, and classroom organization? My blog was posting FIVE awesome giveaways!

Just a few reminders:

Each giveaway will run until Thursday, August 26 at 1:00pm est
I will draw ONE winner for each using random.org
Make sure you check back on Friday, August 27 to see the winners...each will have 48 hours to claim his/her prize before I draw someone new.

That is all! Oh, and here is a recap of the giveaways in case you missed them and want to still enter:
Tie A Little Ribbon: $15 store credit
JSanken Photography: two 5x7 prints of the nature shots in the post
Gussy: $30 store credit (not including baby blankets)
Bird E Studios: bib, paci clip, and diaper clutch bundle (your choice of fabric)
The Vintage Pearl: $25 store credit

Next week I will have my very first guest post up for Back to School! You won't want to miss it!

Back To School Bonanza Giveaway #5: The Vintage Pearl

2010-08-23T16:00:00.004-04:00

I am going BACK TO SCHOOL this week, and I thought I would end the summer with a bang...of giveaways!

The Vintage Pearl. Sigh...this was my very first love affair with online hand-crafted lovlies. The personalized jewelry and keepsakes are perfect for absolutely anyone in your life!

A little "about" The Vintage Pearl (per the website):

"The Vintage Pearl began in 2007 as a creative outlet while staying home and raising our kids. It quickly blossomed into a business and continues to grow! I feel extremely blessed to be able to work while home with my kids!

"We use only the finest materials in our hand stamped jewelry, every piece is entirely made of sterling silver, from the chains to the jump rings, unless otherwise noted in the description."

This is one of my most favorite that I hope to own someday...the "you are my sunshine" necklace! I think many momma's like me sing that song to their wee ones. What a special way to cherish those moments!

Erin, the lovely lady behind the jewelry blogs here .And you can follow her on twitter here!

I am SO excited to announce that The Sluiter Nation Back To School Bonanza's FINAL giveaway is gift certificate worth $25 to the Vintage Pearl!!

All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment here telling me what you love best about The Vintage Pearl!

For anyone who wants a couple more chances at winning, you can also...

Tweet about this giveaway: "Sluiter Nation is going Back To School with @thevintagepearl! Check out their giveaway at http://bit.ly/a8HlhJ" (make sure you come back and leave a separate comment telling me you tweeted!)

"Like" Sluiter Nation on facebook (come back and leave a separate comment telling me you do).

Three ways to win! Good luck!

**This giveaway closes at 1:00pm est on Thursday, August 26, 2010 (which is also the day of my first Back to School meeting). The winner will be announced Friday!

**Disclosure: The Vintage Pearl is providing the spoils for this giveaway! I was not compensated for this review; all opinions are entirely my own based on my own purchases from The Vintage Pearl. Not that my raves could be bought anyway, of course!

Back To School Bonanza Giveaway #4: Bird E Studios

2010-08-23T14:00:00.005-04:00

I am going BACK TO SCHOOL this week, and I thought I would end the summer with a bang...of giveaways!

I have fallen HARD in love with Bird E Studios and everything that the lovely Erika makes and sells there. I also think Erika is pretty great too.

What Erika has to say about Bird E Studios:

"Bird E Studios began as my creative outlet (I'm a business analyst by day, and nearly immediately upon starting that gig I realized that I would quickly go nuts if all I had to live for was my cubicle and computer) and when demand for my gifts grew beyond just birthday and holiday gifts I opened an online store front. It has been such a fun way to meet so (SO) many lovely people. The connections have been my favorite part of this whole business owner thing. Being so new (opened officially June 1, 2010) I am constantly adding products."

She makes everything from pouches to diaper clutches to dog collars to bibs, to pacifier clips and more! I would be lying if I said I didn't want a dog just to put one of her cute collars on it!

Erika's beautiful designs are perfect for a baby gift or to treat your own little one!

You can read Erika's blog, The Simple Life of Love here or follow her on twitter here!

I am SO excited to announce that The Sluiter Nation Back To School Bonanza's fourth giveaway is a gift bundle including a bib, a paci clip, and a diaper clutch of the winner's choice from Bird E Studios!

All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment here telling me what you love best about Bird E Studios!

For anyone who wants a couple more chances at winning, you can also...

Tweet about this giveaway: "Sluiter Nation is going Back To School with @simplerika! Check out their giveaway at http://bit.ly/asSVsP " (make sure you come back and leave a separate comment telling me you tweeted!)

"Like" Sluiter Nation on facebook (come back and leave a separate comment telling me you do).

Three ways to win! Good luck!

**This giveaway closes at 1:00pm est on Thursday, August 26, 2010 (which is also the day of my first Back to School meeting). The winner will be announced Friday!

**Disclosure: Bird E Studios is providing the spoils of this giveaway. I also received a bib in the rocker print for Eddie, since he is my little rocker. However my opinion can't be bought, that is entirely my own!

Back To School Bonanza Giveaway #3: Gussy

2010-08-23T12:00:00.005-04:00

I am going BACK TO SCHOOL this week, and I thought I would end the summer with a bang...of giveaways!

This giveaway is extra special not just because it's Gussy (hello! who DOESN'T love Gussy?!?), but because in the process of working with Maggie, I found out that she graduated from the high school where I work! In fact, she graduated just months before I was hired. Makes me feel a wee bit old, but makes this back to school giveaway super special to me!

A wee bit about Gussy:

Gussy is a colorful line of ruffled accessories. Each ruffle is machine sewn free-hand style, making each ruffle unique. Almost 2 years ago Maggie sat down at her kitchen table --she wanted to learn how to sew. And here she is now, offering zipped pouches of all sizes, laptop bags, tote/diaper bags, and wristlet/clutches (all with her signature ruffle) to those that love a little flair :) And, she's recently quit her day job to pursue Gussy full-time. To read more about Gussy, click here.

The Nester wrote, "Gussy has a juicy shop full of all kinds of wonderfulness, and her blog, Gussy has a lot to say, is quickly becoming a crafter’s headquarters where she features different crafters/artists and writes about her experience."

Sigh...I love that signature ruffle! Gets me EVERY time!

You can follow Gussy on twitter here!

I am SO excited to announce that The Sluiter Nation Back To School Bonanza's third giveaway is $30 shop credit at www.shopgussy.com!!! (sorry, all baby blankets are exempt from this giveaway credit).

All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment here telling me what you love best about Gussy!

For anyone who wants a couple more chances at winning, you can also...

Tweet about this giveaway: "Sluiter Nation is going Back To School with @gussysews! Check out their giveaway at http://bit.ly/chFskQ " (make sure you come back and leave a separate comment telling me you tweeted!)

"Like" Sluiter Nation on facebook (come back and leave a separate comment telling me you do).

Three ways to win! Good luck!

**This giveaway closes at 1:00pm est on Thursday, August 26, 2010 (which is also the day of my first Back to School meeting). The winner will be announced Friday!

**Disclosure: Gussy is providing the spoils of this giveaway. I was not provided with any free product, and my opinions couldn't be bought anyway. I do own the orange polka dot pouch above and I LOVE IT! So there is that.

Back To School Bonanza Giveaway #2: JSancken Photography

2010-08-23T10:00:00.005-04:00

I am going BACK TO SCHOOL this week, and I thought I would end the summer with a bang...of giveaways!

My lovely bloggy/twitter friend, Julie of ...back to the basics... has turned into a photographer! She takes LOVELY pictures of nature, kiddos, and families.

Recently she started her own photography blog where you can learn more about her and her passion for photography. You can also purchase prints she has taken of beautiful nature scenes.

This one reminds me of the path that lead from my parents' backyard out through their woods to the back fields where the blueberry bushes are. I could see it from my bedroom window. I am in love with this print.

And this one just makes me all happy. I LOVE little happy flowers! They are a reminder of the beauty that is there if we just look.

You can find Julie's blog, ...back to the basics here, and follower her on twitter here.

I am SO excited to announce that The Sluiter Nation Back To School Bonanza's second giveaway is the two nature photographs above in 5x7 size!

All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment here telling me what you love best about Julie Sancken Photography!

For anyone who wants a couple more chances at winning, you can also...

Tweet about this giveaway: "Sluiter Nation is going Back To School with @basicallyjulie! Check out their giveaway at http://bit.ly/9Lviui " (make sure you come back and leave a separate comment telling me you tweeted!)

"Like" Sluiter Nation on facebook (come back and leave a separate comment telling me you do).

Three ways to win! Good luck!

**This giveaway closes at 1:00pm est on Thursday, August 26, 2010 (which is also the day of my first Back to School meeting). The winner will be announced Friday!

**Disclosure: Julie Sancken Photography is providing the spoils for this giveaway. Julie also sent me copies of the two nature prints above in 5x7 size as well. I love them, but getting free stuff doesn't sway my opinions. Those are totally mine!

Back To School Bonanza Giveaway #1: Tie a Little Ribbon

2010-08-23T08:00:00.007-04:00

I am going BACK TO SCHOOL this week, and I thought I would end the summer with a bang...of giveaways!

Krystal over at Tie a Little Ribbon Boutique makes the absolute CUTEST hair accessories for little girls (and big girls too!) I "met" Krystal via twitter, and because she was sassy and hilarious, I headed on over to her blog and her boutique and my uterus about squeed for my to have a little girl JUST so I could get some cute hair clippys and headbands!

Krystal "specializes in no-slip clips and headbands," and she loves to do custom orders! And? The best part? You don't have to be teeny to where what she is making!

Even though these precious itty bitties would look SOOO cute in little piggy tails or perched atop a head of curls, she also can make flowers for YOUR hair

Ahem, mine are on their way to my house as I type this. I'm just saying. Teachers have to look nice for back to school too you know.

See? So dang cute!

You can find Krystal's blog, Tie a Little Ribbon here, and follower her on twitter here.

I am SO excited to announce that The Sluiter Nation Back To School Bonanza's first giveaway is $15 of store credit to Tie a Little Ribbon!

All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment here telling me what you love best about Tie a Little Ribbon!

For anyone who wants a couple more chances at winning, you can also...

Tweet about this giveaway: "Sluiter Nation is going Back To School with @tiealitleribbon! Check out their giveaway at http://bit.ly/9sfOWG " (make sure you come back and leave a separate comment telling me you tweeted!)

"Like" Sluiter Nation on facebook (come back and leave a separate comment telling me you do).

Three ways to win! Good luck!

**This giveaway closes at 1:00pm est on Thursday, August 26, 2010 (which is also the day of my first Back to School meeting). The winner will be announced Friday!

**Disclosure: Tie a Little Ribbon is providing the spoils of this giveaway. I was not provided with any free product, and my opinions couldn't be bought anyway.

Friday Flip-off #5

2010-08-20T06:00:00.001-04:00

Hello!! Welcome to Friday! Once again I am joining my girl, Kludgy Mom, the genius behind Friday Flip-off's, for some stress relief before the weekend starts.

All of my flip-offs this week surround one topic.

Allow me to explain...

I hate running on the treadmill. Ok, I hate running. But I hate the treadmill because really? I am not going anywhere.

I can try to watch TV, but I have to turn it up WAY loud and usually I am not interested enough to take my mind off how I am not going anywhere.

I could listen to some sweet tunes, but again, my eyes work. I can SEE that I am still in the same place, my basement, sweating and hating life. Ok, maybe not LIFE, but definitely running. And definitely the treadmill.

To be honest, I don't even really like walking on that damn thing.

Anyway...where was I going with all this hate? Oh right...

So I found out recently that the anti-depressant that I am on? It doesn't directly CAUSE weight gain, but it makes it REALLY, REALLY hard to LOSE weight.

As in I am spinning my wheels.

I am not going anywhere.

See that picture up there at the top of the post? Yeah. That is how I feel right now.

When I feel like that? I shut down. Other people, STRONGER people, would see that as a challenge and work harder.

Not me. I am such a damn quitter.

I have not run or did my couch to 5k training in over two weeks.

I am depressed about my weight gain. Depressed about my weight. Depressed about my seemingly pointless endeavors to lose weight.

So this is what I am flipping-off this week....

My weakness. Even if I am not losing weight, why am I such a quitter? I am still planning on DOING the 5k, so why not try to do my best and run? Why give in as a "walker"?
My lack of self-discipline. At running, at not eating peanut butter m&m's, this list could go on.
The disappointment that I am causing in others. I HATE disappointing people and that is what I feel like. A giant disappointment.
My Celexa. I know you help me not yell at people, but you are contributing to my ever-growing pants size. Can't I be slim AND sane?
Running in general because it is hard and not fun.
and...for good measure? I am going to flip-off my cat's thyroid. totally unrelated, but it is making him too skinny and that freaks me out and I don't like to be freaked out because it causes me to write in run-on sentences of panic.

Whew! There.

I feel mildly better. Not because I got on the treadmill after writing that. Goodness no (I went to bed, if you must know), but because I admitted that I am feeling this way.

Please don't hate me. I WILL be doing the 5K because it is important. That I will NOT give up on!

Ps. there is still time to donate. I have a $500 goal...I realize it may be less appealing to donate thru a giver-uper, but please, the cause is so much greater than my quitter-tude: Here is my pledge page.

UPDATE:
Just realized Gigi of Kludgy Mom is indisposed today, so she has the Friday Flip-off's being hosted in the UK! So, now...if you want even MORE flip-offs, head over to Pumpkin and Piglet...she has her own plus a whole LIST of other peeps who are doing the flippity flip to stuff that sucks! And? She is one of the sweetest Brits you will ever meet. So you will want to maybe stay. Just sayin.

Back To School Bonanza!

2010-08-19T06:00:00.006-04:00

I'm going back to school. There. I said it. The time is coming. My first official meeting is next Thursday evening--a week from today-- and then the week after that I am in meetings for my high school teaching job, and Grand Rapids Community College actually starts class, so I will be teaching there.

The summer has gone so dang fast. I feel that way every year, but this year it's different somehow.

Usually by this time, although I hate to see the summer go? I am ready to get back on a schedule and get to the business of being productive.

But this year, I don't really feel that way. Don't get me wrong, I love my job! But I fell in love with being a mom this summer. Even though Cort's being unemployed has been a strain on the family budget, it has been such a blessing being home as a family of three this summer--especially after our tumultuous spring with my PPD . We have had so much fun together these past couple months! We have really bonded as a family and I am forever grateful for that.

However, I am DETERMINED to have a super start to the school year! I have a new teaching assignment this year: Full time Spanish teacher at WPHS instead of English. I switched classrooms and am starting completely fresh! I also am teaching at GRCC again this fall.

So to kick off all this excitement? Next Monday Sluiter Nation is bringing you FIVE great giveaways!

And because I know homecoming and lesson planning and just the whole back to schoolness of it all will suck up a TON of my time, taking me away from you all? I have NINE guest bloggers lined up for the month of September! They are my VERY FAVORITE bloggers of all time and I get to share them with you right here! They will all be writing on the theme of school...so get ready!

Is your mind blown yet? Good.

Stay tuned!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

The most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen...

the sweetest face on the planet...

the smile that melts me every time...

sigh...

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Sluiter Nation Home Tour: The Hub of the House

2010-08-17T06:00:00.002-04:00

I know it's been a few weeks, but the tour of Sluiter Nation is BACK! Today with the room that is really the center of the whole house. Not just physically, but socially and emotionally too. We are drawn to it because it exudes warmth, nourishment, and conversation.

It's our kitchen.

Our kitchen is the first thing you see when you climb the stairs from our bi-level's front door. It's much smaller than I would like, but it's cozy and it has everything we need.

It's a gallery of people we love.

It's a yellow pages for take out and an energy center--especially first thing in the morning.

it is rarely completely clean. And it constantly reminds me why I will NEVER own white appliances again!

It is where I can relieve stress or anxiety or anger or sorrow by baking someone something.

Have a bad day? I'll make you cookies.

Grandma die? I'll bake your family a pie to comfort you.

Cort lost his job? I baked him brownies.

Have a birthday? I'll make you a three-layer cake.

Need a dessert for a cookout? I'll bring a fresh blueberry SOMETHING.

This is where people gather to laugh and drink and chat and discuss and eat.

It looks out over the yard Cort so lovingly takes care of and the clubhouse Eddie so joyously frolics on.

Somehow the island is NEVER completely cleared off. Keys, wallet, pipey, monitor, newspaper, whatever gets thrown here.

But it is where we gather as a family. It is where we nourish ourselves physically and emotionally. We grow together here.

Sluiter Nation Takes Indy

2010-08-16T06:00:00.003-04:00

I promised to share our trip to Indianapolis, so I need to make good on that. So here is our story...

Last week Monday, our little family packed up and headed south.

Before having Eddie, four hours in the car for a road trip would have been no big deal for Cort and me. We love road trips together! But with a 13-month old? By hour three? Eddie was done. D.O.N.E. done. I had to start singing to him to get him to applaud and smile and not scream his face off.

Also on that four-hour tour, Eddie also had his first McDonald's visit. I didn't even think to take my camera in, but there he sat...in a highchair, with a chicken nugget and apple slice happy meal, smiling. And in that McDonalds somewhere in northern Indiana? My baby learned to drink out of a straw. Sigh...

Anyway, we arrived in Indianapolis around 5:00 or so. Eddie LOVED the hotel room!

The chair and the air conditioner and the window overlooking a bazillion school buses were his favorite parts.

That evening Emily invited us over for pizza and relaxing on the back deck while the kids played. It was a lovely way to start our visit! Before we left, we agreed to head out to the Indianapolis Zoo with Emily and her crew in the morning.

Emily has a membership pass so we got in for nothing at all! You can't beat that deal with a stick!

Emily's oldest, PK, was our tour guide for the day. Now you must know, PK and I bonded over that fact that we both love princesses, and I knew each one of her Polly Pockets princess's names. Yup, we are now BFF's. Anyway, I believe it was because of this bond that we got such a thorough tour from her.

One of the first places she took us was to see the sharks. Very cool. However, did you know you can PET these sharks? Um...I am a little skeptical of this.

But clearly it is safe because I don't think Emily would let her sweet little girls touch a man eater. I don't THINK.

So of course Cort had his brave pants on that day and cozied up to a shark. This is the same guy who picked up a horseshoe crab and pet a sting ray in Myrtle Beach. Show off.

So I leaned in and pet one too. It was icky, but at least I did it. Notice my two-finger technique. That is me all following directions.

We stopped to see the penguins. Birdie liked the penguins. I liked Birdie's pigtails. It's a fair trade.

Eddie enjoyed the dolphin dome. It WAS pretty neat to feel like you are underwater. And it's very echo-y in there. Also a favorite of Eddie's.

Meerkats, anyone?

Polar Bear butt dwarfing Emily's girls.

The crew: Emily, Gage, Birdie, PK, Cort, and Eddie

elephant family

Cort's new BFF, Gage the Rage

It may have been over a hundred degrees. And some of us may have been crabby about that.

Lucky for us there is a splash pad at the zoo. Eddie and I put our piggies in to cool off!

Ah! that's better!

Right before we left, we met these gibbons. They were loud. They were a fan favorite. Coincidence?

Oh, and in case you are wondering, Eddie got a penguin to add to his collection from this zoo!

We may have had McDonalds again. This time I had my camera ready. See? He's like an adult with that thing. Sigh...

Tuesday night was the super fun Blogger BBQ at Emily's. It was fun. It was needed. I wish I could do it ALL THE TIME!

Wednesday morning we decided we needed some indoor, air-conditioned fun, so on the recommendation of all the Indy natives, Sluiter Nation went to the Children's Museum of Indianapolis.

It was four floors of exploring, investigating, learning, and playing. Eddie really liked it. I may have loved it.

Eddie learned about watersheds (just for you Erin. Maybe he can explain them to me).

He played in a log.

He built things with blocks.

He rode a carousel with dad-do.

We saw dinosaurs. (Eddie applauded this guy).

Eddie explored sand.

and learned about magnets.

he picked flowers.

and played in the Baby Scapes.

I posed on the Barbie runway.

And stopped for a photo op with my childhood friend. Girlfriend needs to eat a cheeseburger, though. She's making me look bad!

Before lunch (where Eddie drank from yes, ANOTHER juice box), we found his favorite exhibit!

There were rock star cars like this one from Van Halen.

And this trailer o stereo from KISS

we even saw Cheap Trick's custom John Deere!

We even let Eddie try out a "hog". He liked it. Sort of a lot. Don't tell Grandma.

After lunch, it was time to get back in the truck and head north for home. Eddie and I both slept for part of the trip. We were exhausted from all the fun we had. It was the perfect minivacation for our first family vacation. Eddie slept pretty well in the hotel (even if he didn't nap on Tuesday because the room was just too interesting), and we had a TON of fun with old and new friends!

We look forward to visiting Indy again and maybe hitting the State Fair next time!

Blessings

2010-08-15T06:00:00.004-04:00

This day...today...amazed me.

I am left sitting here typing this an aching, emotionally drained, physically exhausted pile of whine.

So pooped that actual wine doesn't even sound good to me.

I KNOW!

Anyway, let me go back....

You all know that Cort's sister and brother-in-law are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia, yes? If by chance you don't know what I am talking about, you REALLY should go to their blog, Stepping Stones, and read about their journey. It's lovely. Go ahead. You can go read now. I'll wait....

tappity....tappity...tappity...oh, you're back. Ok...

So, they are adopting from Ethiopia and we REALLY wanted to help out. It all started months ago when they asked if I could contribute something crafty to their online auction. I didn't have the time or the supplies, but I SOOO wanted to help.

Fastforward to me volunteering to do a garage sale to get rid of our stuff. And then asking for donations. It got huge, people. I am telling you...it took over our basement and part of our garage.

This is only part of it. We had started moving things to the garage already at this point. See?

On Thursday MacKenzie (my sis-in-law), our friend Trisha, and I organized everything into categories in the garage and then priced it all. Friday, more stuff was dropped off, so I went through all that: sorting and pricing. Oh, and it was about 1000 degrees with 100% humidity. It was like organizing in a sauna.

Friday night to celebrate this fundraiser and to get a little taste of what Ethiopia is like, MacKenzie and Dave took us to GoJo in East Town (Grand Rapids). GoJo is family owned and the owner, Sam, waited on us and chatted it up with Kenz and Dave--they are regulars now!

Many families who are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia or who have adopted come to eat here. It's amazing the sense of community there is even with only one other table of diners in there besides us. I just felt that this was a familiar place for people to come.

Pictures of children who have found their families lined the windows and Sam knew right where his customers were in their own processes. He even mentioned to Dave and Kenz that he heard they had waiting list numbers now!

The experience was super unique to anything I have had before--the only thing I can compare it to is digging in to and appetizer, but it was the table's meal.

The food is family style and the diners get NO utensils or plates. You simply grab your Ethiopian flatbread and dig in to the lamb, beef, chicken, collards, salads, and lentils. The platter we ordered was pretty darn spicy, but it can be milder. The flavor? Was SO worth the "after burn" in my mouth. Even though I knew I would get a fire mouth? I kept going for more!

Even Eddie liked some of the milder tastes! I can definitely say we will be back! Such a great experience!

So armed with Ethiopian food in our bellies, we met Saturday morning with determination to make some cash at the garage sale!

In fact, I was hanging signs at 7:15am (the sale started at 8am), and a couple stalked me down in their minivan to ask me if we would open early. Garage Salers? Are serious.

The night before I made all these cute little business cards with the Stepping Stones blog address on them to give to people as they bought or donated so they could follow the adoption journey. It was definitely a hit!

So we waited for the crowds. We got a few in the first hour, but by 9:30 I was all panicky that people weren't going to come. Shouldn't we have had a morning rush?

So I called my mom and asked her if she was coming. My mom? said she wasn't "planning on it". I begged her to come so that we wouldn't have NO one here...even if she didn't buy anything, she could play with Eddie.

Apparently that call was the trick! After that, we were steady until around noon! My mom even ended up buying a little bike for Eddie! Hooray for Grandma! And Granny showed up too and bought Eddie some books! Yay! Grandmas are the BEST!

My favorite thing of the day, though, was when Kenzie's BFF, Alicia was here with her two kids, Ruthie and Lewis. Lewis spotted a soccer ball he wanted and Alicia tried to tell him they had one at home already. Needless to say, Lewis REALLY wanted the soccer ball.

Then Alicia said, that soccer ball? Was one she has donated to the sale. Luckily, HER mom was there and bought the ball back for Lewis.

Again, Grandmas for the win!

We worked hard today. Cortney and I met a LOT of our neighbors (in fact, we met the guy Cort has secretly been calling Mr. Jones and trying to keep up with...get it? His real name is Steve and his wife bought a ton.).

We also learned that many of our neighbors have also adopted.

In fact, one? Is in the process of adopting from Ethiopia too! We heard many lovely stories of adoption and God's love for all children. It made the day pretty emotional.

Cort's dad once told me how glad he was to have me in the family. I have NEVER forgotten that. He was glad to have me.

And today, even though so many people told me it was great that Cort and I were helping, I really didn't feel like we were doing anything special.

I felt like the people who donated and who were shopping were doing the special things.

Kenz and Dave are doing something special for children they don't even know yet, but already love more than life.

Not us. Not me. But I remembered what my father-in-law said. He welcomed me in even though I wasn't technically his own. He felt I was good for something.

Today, I felt I was living up to what he meant. I don't need thanks. I really don't want it. I just want him to be proud. And I want Kenz and Dave to look at their children and be glad.

And it made Cort and I VERY glad to give them the $500 that was earned at the garage sale! Never once did it cross our minds that that money could be ours. Never. In fact, someone said we should get a receipt at Good Will for the rest of the stuff, but you know what? Most of that stuff was donated. It wasn't ours. We don't feel right getting a receipt for it. So it will just be another donation. It's the least we can do for all the blessings that continue to come our way.

I cannot WAIT to meet my niece, nephew, or both! I can't. I love being an aunt. Love it. Almost...ALMOST as much as I love being a mom!

white walls

2010-08-14T06:49:00.001-04:00

I wanted to look at my hands. I wanted to study my feet. I wanted to stare at the ceiling.

But instead?

I looked at their faces.

I had somehow (on purpose) squeezed my way into the corner behind Cortney.

Squeezed is an understatement.

I don't think exam rooms are meant to hold 12+ people. And this one? Was freezing.

I'm starting to forget him. I haven't ever said that before. But it's true. I can remember everyone else from those visits, but I am losing his face.

I know he was sitting on the exam table.

But what I remember are the looks on his sisters' and brothers' and parents' and children's faces.

The walls were white and it was cold. Until the news came that he wasn't going to get better. Then? I couldn't stop sweating. I was the thousand degree corner of the room. Behind my fiance. I was there because I was told I was part of the family. But I felt like such an interloper.

I only knew him for just over a year. Not my whole life. Not like everyone else in that room.

The doctor gave numbers. A time span.

I saw the math happening in people's eyes. He would not be there to walk his daughter down the aisle. He would not be there to see his son marry a girl who was already part of the family. He would not meet any grandchildren. He would not outlive his parents.

And I? I was sweating.

Why was I here? This was not real. This doesn't happen in REAL life. Shouldn't I be sitting on my couch watching this unfold to some characters on a TV show and not to real people that I know...who are going to be my family?

Tissues started to be handed out. None came to me. I was wiping my nose and eyes on my sleeve. No one noticed. My runny nose was not the issue today.

I felt eyes. Cort's aunt was looking at me. Into me. Or through me.

And then she wasn't. Her eyes had moved on.

The walls were so white. There was an ironic picture of a boat on Lake Michigan on the wall.

I was still sweating. But shivering.

The only face I can visualize is that from the pictures we have...either formal or sick. No real life images.

He is slipping from me. Even though I feel like I never really had him.

And yet...

He is here. I know it. And Eddie knows it. I think Eddie knows him. I think they have met.

Has it really been five years?

Yes. It has been five years. And I am losing him in one form, and gaining him in another.

**Read Cort's post about this at Tasty Buttered Toast. But grab a tissue first**

**And Read Cort's Sis, MacKenzie's post about him (and their adoption process) at Stepping Stones.**

This post was written in loving memory of Steven Kent "Slippery" Sluiter who lost his battle with the beast that is cancer on August 14, 2005. He is Cort's Pops, my Father-in-Law, and Eddie's beloved Papa. He is missed on this earth every single day by everyone who knew him.

Today, in honor of him, Sluiter Nation is hosting a garage sale fundraiser to help bring his grandchildren home from Ethiopia. We are confident this is how he would want us to spend this day. Happy and hopeful instead of sad and full of remorse.