On My First Mother's Day

Remember when I looked like this?  It was around this time last year.  Mother's Day 2009 I was almost nine months pregnant, and many people said, "happy mother's day, mama!" to me.  I thanked them then, but I had NO idea what was in store for me as far as becoming a mother.

Having Eddie FINALLY in my arms instead of in my tummy was great.  It was amazing.  I loved every second of being in the hospital with him.  I told myself that I sort of liked this mommy business.

Being at home was more difficult.  Turns out we had LOTS of visitors and a colicky baby.  Plus I was still healing from my C-section.  Cuddling my Eddie Bear when he was sleepy from crying reminded me of how just a year before we weren't even sure if this was possible.  After two miscarriages, I didn't know if I would EVER me a momma.  So I was grateful for even the crying.

Eddie and I bonded.  He needed me.  It was a totally different feeling than I have ever before experienced.

We spent a lot of time together in my chair.  When he was tired, I cuddled him.  When he didn't feel good, I cuddled him.  When he was sad or scared or just plain colicky, we rocked and rocked and rocked.

I'm learning that as a mother...

when he laughs, I laugh.

when he is afraid, I am afraid (but I try not to show it).

when he cries, I cry too.

Eddie and I have a special bond.  I have gone through a lot to be able to say, "I am doing the best I can, and that is enough." Even though many times it does not feel like enough.

Lucky for me, I don't have to do it alone.  I have Cortney who is a wonderful father and husband. 

Together he and Eddie show me daily that they love and appreciate me.  

But today was special.  Today was my FIRST mother's day.  Cortney and Eddie bought me a lovely hanging flower basket, brought me coffee this morning, and gave me this beautiful charm bracelet...with an "E" charm complete with a pearl--Eddie's birthstone--on it.

I will never forget this first mother's day!  I will cherish this time with my little family, much the way we cherish the mothers in our lives.

Besides celebrating me being a mother today, we also celebrated our mothers.

First we stopped to see Lynne, Cort's stepmom.She has been a wonderful cheerleader for us and a super grandma to Eddie.

Then we had lunch with Kim--or Granny as Eddie calls her--Cort's mom and Ray, Cort's stepdad.  Kim is so giving and has raised two gentlemanly sons.  I strive to raise Eddie to be as polite, kind, and resourceful as Cortney and Cody are.  Cortney can cook, iron, make a bed, AND do all the mowing and repairing around the house.  He is also a gentleman in every sense of the word.  I can only attribute that to a strong mother!  I hope to be as great of a teacher as she was (and is) to her boys.

Lastly we stopped by my mom.  There are no words to say how much I admire and honor this woman.  She is kind, giving, generous, and loving.  She wants her kids to be strong and independent but always lets them know she will be there for them when they need her.  She is smart and strong.  I can only hope to show as much compassion and understanding to my children as she has to me and my two brothers.

I am still learning.  I am learning by watching and listening to ALL the wonderful mothers in my life.  There are so many of you--in the real world and the blog world--who have taught me so much, who have helped me know I am not the only one to go through the valleys of motherhood, and who have celebrated with me the mountain highs of this little job title of "momma".

So many have tried to tell me what motherhood was all about.

But you don't really know until it's happening.

And it's good.  It's really good.

A BIG Thank you to my husband for making my FIRST mother's day so wonderful.  None of this would be without you my dear.  I love you oh so much!