Monday, September 13, 2010

McFatty Monday...The First Post

**CAUTION: this post is me being the most honest I have ever been about my most hated subject: my weight**





I am doing it.  I am joining McFatty Mondays.

sigh.

I have been reading many of my bloggy friends do McFatty Mondays now for a WHILE (including Blair, who came up with this ridiculous great idea), and I have been rooting them on and thinking them so great and brave and awesome for putting their celebrations and failures out there on the old internet for all to see.

I didn't want to do it though.

Until now.

You guys?  I watched that dumb vlog of mine.  And I wanted to cry at the hot dog that is under my chin and the rolls on my gut.

When did this happen!?!?!

Today I had Cort take pics of me.  Caution: these are extremely scary.  I almost vom-ed a little in my mouth when I looked at them.  But here they are:

DUDE!  who stuck a spare tire in my tank top?  And what are my shorts DOING?  They are long, they are not supposed to try to ride up into my nether regions like that...oh wait, my thighs are eating them!

This is so sad.  This is the same place I stood June of 2009 to pose for my 9 month preggo picture.  See...

Now here is the part that blew my mind.

When I went in one day before giving birth?  My weight was 198.  I had only gained 20 pounds.  Cort and I had fist bumped because my goal was to keep it under 200 and I did it!

After having Eddie, I lost all 20 of those pounds plus 10 more.  See how great I looked....

And then...somehow somewhere, I found all THIRTY of those pounds back.

People?  Today I weighed in at 195.  ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE POUNDS.  that is only 3 less than when I gave BIRTH to a 9.5 pound child.

Cort and I discussed after I wanted to start knifing the fat off that this is what happened....

Before getting pregnant I had decided I need to lose weight.  So I hit the gym HARD and bettered my eating habits.  I was down to 175ish when I first got pregnant.

I didn't stop when I was pregnant.  Well, I did, because I was throwing up and tired all the time, but I also quit all soda, coffee, and junk.  I wasn't hungry for any of it anyway, so it was easy to quit.  I actually continued to lose weight the first couple months of pregnancy.

After the first trimester, I started walking again.  And the only snacks I had were fruit and the OCCASIONAL jelly belly.

I did so great.

After Eddie was born?  I lost all the weight.  I truly think it's because I was so sore, tired, and overwhelmed that food did not sound good to me for over a month after he was born.

I didn't start to notice weight going back ON my body until after Christmas. And then it was just a small amount.  I promised myself I would get back into shape once my crazy schedule chilled out.

But I didn't.  What I did was start anti-depressants.  That had a side effect of weight gain.

Couple that with not eating the best foods and doing zero exercise and I had a bit of a problem.

I tried running this summer.  I really did.  My knee injury did not help the quest for exercise.  And then with me being the crazy quitter that I am, I never really got back on the training wagon like I should have.

That being said, next week's 5K is going to be more of a run/walk than a run.

Ahem.  Anyway.

So now that I weigh the same as I did when I gave birth, I hate myself.  Ok, I don't hate my WHOLE self, but I am really, REALLY mad and disappointed with what I have let happen.

I am so driven to succeed in every other area of my life...why can't this be one too?

And that is how I ended up on McFatty Monday.

Every Monday I hope to share my failures and my celebrations (please, please let there be more celebrations than failures!).  I'll share what works and where my pitfalls are.

Right now I know that regular exercise just can't be fit into the schedule, but that doesn't mean I am not going to try to be healthier.

So...here I go.

37 comments:

Lcw said...

You can do it!!!

Katrina said...

Thanks for being so honest! It's hard to be vulnerable and speak your truth, right? By the way, I think you look great NOW!

Jennifer Kay said...

I had to get vulnerable this year as well when my scale hit 245, thank God you didn't wait as long as I did! I started going to the gym during my lunch hour (for the first time in my life) and I'm down to 231 but there are plenty of nights when the Golden Oreos get the best of me. I keep trying to get back on the wagon when the sun comes up and I'll get there. But the process is slow, which doesn't always work with me. Results tomorrow would be better.

www.downthislittleroad.blogspot..com said...

I love how honest you are! I was in the same boat as you... My son is 16 months old and I went back to work this past May, I too teach. The weather started to get hot and it was short season. NOOOOOOO, I can't wear shorts. I was about 25 lbs over weight and I am only 4 ft. 11 inches. I felt frumpy, so I decided to join Weight Watchers (online) as I don't have the time to attend meetings. I also started to C25K program. It is now September, I have lost 20 lbs, and I can run 5km non stop. I know you can do it, I am rooting for you!!!

Julie S. said...

You are a HUGE inspiration to me right now, I want you to know. I also lost all of my pregnancy weight plus some, and most of it has come creeping back. I need to do something, too. I look forward to hearing about it ALL, and I will be here on the weeks that you feel like you didn't meet your goals- and celebrating the times that you do!

Grace @ Arms Wide Open said...

you are beautiful no matter what the number on the scale says!
i'm proud of you friend for tackling this part of your life!
you are amazing.

Barb said...

What a great post. I can no longer use the baby excuse since it's been over 30 yrs but I too need to be honest with myself and my weight. Thanks for the boost.

Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

I think pretty much every woman - mom or not - can relate to this and appreciate your honestly and vulnerability. I was the opposite of you - I gained 20 pounds before getting pregnant. I was on this crazy fertility diet. Then I gained 25 2/my pregnancy. Lost that weight very quickly. The rest? Not so much. But earlier this year I committed to losing it, and today I weigh less than I did on my wedding day. YOU CAN DO IT! :)

alicia said...

I think it's so great that you are so open and honest about it. I really think that the anti-depressants might not be helping too. I was on them a while back and when I went off I lost some water weight. Seriously. Good luck on your journey.

Kmama said...

Best of luck to you!! I know it's so hard. I'm struggling with this as well. Hopefully the support you'll get from being so honest will help you with this!

Blair@HeirtoBlair said...

I'm so excited that you're joining in :) For serious.

You are beautiful at any weight, but I do understand that need to feel good about yourself. You can do it!

Blair@HeirtoBlair said...

oh, & antidepressants are the DEVIL with weight gain.

pinkflipflops said...

((())) You can do it!!!!! You are a hot mama regardless!

Anonymous said...

You can totally do it!! I have a neice with an autism spectrum disorder. Nikki was 15 and around 250 pounds. She is high functionning and always would ask why she was different and looked different. Nikki ate a lot of "smooth foods" (ie: foods that feel good in her mouth, alot of pasta). Her weight just sat and really, she was very active; she ran track, swam and played baseball.

She has lost over 100 pounds in 2 years. She started exercising more, began to be more open about different foods to eat (which was a hard transition). I see my now 17 year old neice, who still has a lot of excess skin, and who the doctor says can still safely lose more weight and I KNOW without a doubt you can do this!!

Go out there and be great!!

Cortney said...

I'm so very proud of you for taking this on with your blog community. I admire your bravery to share something that is very difficult for you to talk about.
You'll do great! The support system you have in place online and at home will help you through the highs and the lows.
Remember... You're awesome!
Love you!

Tiffany said...

Congrats! I am thinking about joining in too - just nervous. Scared. And not brave enough to show those photos and tell my weight. You are amazing.

Alena said...

You will do great!!! There will probably be weeks where you didn't stay on track and it's hard to post those...but they are normal and OK!! I am excited to see you do amazing things with MM!!

torie@Life With Rylie said...

You can do it girl! There are ups and downs but you know you have us for support too! When you feel like eating something sweet, get on twitter and we will stop you :) It's always better when you have people to support you!

TheNextMartha said...

You already have my support just for putting yourself out there! You can do it. We're here to help.

Miranda said...

YOU CAN DO THIS!! :)

I'm right here with you.

Missy @ Wonder, Friend said...

You will rock this! I relate - I do, I'm not just saying that. I seem to be able to pull it together in so many areas, but when it comes to exercise and eating, I fail. A lot. I recently made the same commitment you have made. It's hard work, but feeling healthier and stronger is worth it.

You can do it! Thanks for sharing so honestly.

Suz said...

Thanks for such an honest post. I will be cheering you on for sure! You can do it!

Sherri said...

Best of luck to you! I love your sense of humor and honesty about your struggle...and I love that you are doing this with friends!

Heidi - D said...

We are all here to cheer you on along your journey!

Good luck to you - you can totally do this!!! Thanks for linking up today!

Erin said...

You can do this! You've been there, done that, and can do it again even better!

I've been on a weight loss quest this year too, and have kinda bottomed out. I'm disappointed, it's not the weight I want, and now I'm struggling to add exercise to my days and MEET MY GOAL!

For more info on the way I eat, check out http://thewayweeat.com.

~Erin
Twitter ID: Midnite592/TheWayWeEat

Kimberly said...

Katie, you are so beautiful. Weight is a number. It is HOW YOU feel that counts.

I know that you can do this because you did it before. We are all rooting for you Momma!

Hugs

Erika said...

Go mama Go!!! you can do it, lady! I'll be here cheering you on :)

Lindsey said...

You can do it!!! Rooting for you. It is definitely a challenge ater having children as the weight fluctuates. You will do great and I pray you get back to the weight you desire. Just be positive and tell envision yourself back to your old weight as you eat right and exercise. I found this worked for me. The minute I spoke negative it was like taking two steps back. You can do this go, go, go!

Crystal said...

Ok Sluiter, listen up:

First, you look great. Second, you are a mom of a toddler and right there you have inherited 20 pounds of whatever.

Second, kids make us fat.

Third, you're not fat.

Fourth, you will do this.

Fifth, I'm pissed at you, b/c now I have to do something, too.

Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

Aw, darlin'...

I know that feeling SO well. I'm feeling it myself right now. A year ago, I got married in a size 8 wedding dress.

Now I couldn't get into that dress with a crow bar.

*sigh*

I'm glad you've found your mojo.

I'm going to look around for mine. Somewhere.

Under the bed maybe.... or maybe a dust bunny ate it.

Mike's Crazy Wife said...

Good Job, coming "out" and being so honest about it! We can't wait to see your triumph!

Mungee's Ma said...

Best of luck! I have faith that you will be successful. You're a beautiful person, inside and out and I hope that through this new journey you will find peace with a part of yourself that makes you uncomfortable.

missy widener said...

first of all? I love you. to the moon and back. I love you any old way as long as you are you. and through *every*thing you have been thrown into and tried to muffle through, you have always been the you I love. and that is a beautiful you.
second. your face in that second shot? priceless. just shows the you I love with a sense of humor about everything. you never take life too seriously and that is the way it should be.
and third. I feel like a horrible friend with my inability to keep up with all of your posts and blogs lately. I am just so busy. but I still read them if I don't always comment. just so you know. because everything you have to say matters to me.
seven degrees to katie sluiter. the title of your next post. do it. and you will get there. because you know no other way.

Vanessa said...

great post..i love it when people tell it like it is..lay it all out there!

i am doing mcfatty monday's too and it has totally made a difference when i put it out there to the whole wide interet-keeps me accountable to at least a few people...lol!

Nichole said...

You are beautiful inside and out, Katie.
You're an inspiration with your honesty and your determination. I'll be right here, cheering you on!

Lu said...

I so need to do this. When I can walk well. You can do it mama!!!

Life with the Lebedas said...

Weight has a funny way of settling! Believe me, i think i was skinnier (or felt that way) right after i had both of my children. Now, I need a boost to get all that weight back off ... thanks for the inspiration and you'll do great!!

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"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying." ~Michael Jordan